(instrumental opening)

As I walk through the valley of the Raritan
I take a look at my life and realize this wasn’t planned.
But that’s just perfect for us Jersey Guys
because it taught us all how to improvise.
Woke up this morning at 6:30, grab my keys.
Have breakfast at the deli: Pork roll, egg and cheese.
I’ve been waiting on this platform for the train so long
that even my Ma thinks my mind is gone!
But still, at 9, I’m in there, ready for work
for a totally insufferable jerk-fool!
I'm the kinda guy the office trainees wanna be like
in their studio apartments, sayin' prayers for ‘burb life!

Been spending most our lives
living in a Jersey Paradise.
Learn how to improvise
living in a Jersey Paradise.
Eat pork roll by the slice
living in a Jersey Paradise.
It’s just an option to be nice
living in a Jersey Paradise.

Work is done, I take the Subway back to Penn Station.
The trains backed up, leading to commuter consternation.
My briefcase is so packed, on me the boss was chunkin’.
But at least I got myself an iced latte from Dunkin.
Finally get home, resume my life.
On the table is McDonald’s, bought by the wife.
She’s a real estate agent, Jersey keeps her in commission
I gotta keep her pleased, ‘cause I know what I was missin’!
The lawn mower’s broken, the snowblower, too
and I ain’t had the gutters cleaned since 2002!
Shes takes the Subaru to the Home Goods store.
Where she’ll put all the stuff she buys there, I just don’t know.

Tell me why are we stuck on Route 3?
Is it more construction or the return of Chris Christie?

Been spending most our lives
living in a Jersey Paradise.
It takes some sacrifice
living in a Jersey Paradise.
Atlantic City’s our vice
living in a Jersey Paradise.
Leave up our Christmas lights
living in a Jersey Paradise.

Shopping malls are crowded, traffic is a bummer.
We still get to go down the Shore in the Summer!
The Devils gave us three Stanley Cups in hockey.
So who needs New York’s Warriors or Philadelphia’s Rocky?
They say I gotta learn, but nothing they can teach me
is worth doing things that would make the cops reach me!
I guess they can't, but I wish they would all
give tickets to cars taking up two spaces at the mall, fool!

Been spending most our lives
living in a Jersey Paradise.
We pay the ShopRite price
living in a Jersey Paradise.
No pineapple on pies
living in a Jersey Paradise.
We’re all standup guys
living in a Jersey Paradise.

Tell me why are we stuck on Route 3?
Someone made a wrong turn into Cheesecake Factory!
Tell me why are we stuck on Route 3?
Somebody ticked off the wrong “family”!

(choral close)