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Song Parodies -> "Wenger's Paradise"
Original Song Title:
"Gangsta's Paradise"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Coolio
Parody Song Title:
"Wenger's Paradise"
Parody Written by:
Michael Pacholek
The Lyrics
Soccer is a funny game. You take a club that's been underachieving, and you make it better than it was than even in its best days. You take this opportunity to build a new stadium whose revenues will make it possible for you to bring in more world-class players to replace the aging ones you brought in, and then for 10 years the team isn't as good as it was in the last 10, but still much better than it was in the 100 years before that... and you have to deal with your own team's fans putting up banners telling you to resign, because you're not winning the league title for them every year. And those are the more respectful ones. Sometimes, I think Arsene Wenger should resign as manager of North London's Arsenal Football Club, just so he doesn't have to put up with this nonsense anymore. But then I worry that, once a new man comes in, the team really will be in "midtable mediocrity."
(instrumental opening)
(Arsene)
As I walk through the valley of the shadow I cast
I take a look at my wins that I got in the past.
You see, I’ve been managing Arsenal so long
that even John Cross thinks my mind is gone.
But I ain’t never played a man that didn’t deserve it.
Still, they treat me like a punk, and that should be unheard-of!
They’re whinin’ and they’re moanin’ and a little bit the bitchin’
complainin’ that I no longer have any ambition.
I can see they all trippin’, say I bottle and choke.
That’s a joke, I got trophies in confetti and smoke, fool.
I’m the kinda gaffer little coaches want to be like
On their knees in the night, but they can’t stand the spotlight.
(Theo Walcott)
Been spending most of our lives
living in a Wenger’s Paradise.
I hear Piers Morgan’s lies
living in a Wenger’s Paradise.
I hear ungrateful guys
living in a Wenger’s Paradise.
The Emirates did rise
‘cause he built a Wenger’s Paradise.
(Arsene)
Look at the situation they got me facing.
I can’t live a normal life, the media, they be spacing.
So I built up a fancy European passing team.
Too much, television pundits mock my dream.
I’m an educated fool with money on my mind.
Paying off the stadium debt took time.
I went unbeaten for a season and I won two Doubles.
Now the ungrateful say third place is rubble? Fools!
Mid-table mediocrity’s not far away
if you sack me for another manager today.
I’ve managed 20 seasons. For a 21st, or do I go?
The way things are going, I just don’t know.
(Aaron Ramsey)
Tell me why are refs so blind to see?
I get hacked, but he shows yellow card to me.
Been spending most of our lives
living in a Wenger’s Paradise.
I hear Piers Morgan’s lies
living in a Wenger’s Paradise.
We hear the injured’s cries
living in a Wenger’s Paradise.
My goals are killing guys
living in a Wenger’s Paradise.
(Arsene)
The board gave me a little money, and gave me all the power.
I got a Polish goalie smoking weed in the shower.
They think I’ve lost the passion, I should be more hungry.
Well, you can shove that bloody banner, you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry!
They say I gotta learn, but I’m the one who taught you.
You struggled for Europe before the magic nights I brought you!
I guess they can’t give enough of a f***
But after I’m gone, their whole life is out of luck, fools!
(Jack Wilshere)
Been spending most of our lives
living in a Wenger’s Paradise.
I hear Piers Morgan’s lies
living in a Wenger’s Paradise.
Tottenham’s s***, I surmise
living in a Wenger’s Paradise.
I make the sacrifice
‘cause I’m living in a Wenger’s Paradise.
(Olivier Giroud)
Tell me why are refs so blind to see?
You can’t rule offside against a handsome man like me.
(Mesut Ozil)
Tell me why are we so blind to see?
Get ridiculed on Sky and the BBC?
Ahhhh…
(Arsene)
As I walk through the valley of the shadow I cast
I take a look at my wins that I got in the past.
You see, I’ve been managing Arsenal so long
that even John Cross thinks my mind is gone.
But I ain’t never played a man that didn’t deserve it.
Still, they treat me like a punk, and that should be unheard-of!
They’re whinin’ and they’re moanin’ and a little bit the bitchin’
complainin’ that I no longer have any ambition.
I can see they all trippin’, say I bottle and choke.
That’s a joke, I got trophies in confetti and smoke, fool.
I’m the kinda gaffer little coaches want to be like
On their knees in the night, but they can’t stand the spotlight.
(Theo Walcott)
Been spending most of our lives
living in a Wenger’s Paradise.
I hear Piers Morgan’s lies
living in a Wenger’s Paradise.
I hear ungrateful guys
living in a Wenger’s Paradise.
The Emirates did rise
‘cause he built a Wenger’s Paradise.
(Arsene)
Look at the situation they got me facing.
I can’t live a normal life, the media, they be spacing.
So I built up a fancy European passing team.
Too much, television pundits mock my dream.
I’m an educated fool with money on my mind.
Paying off the stadium debt took time.
I went unbeaten for a season and I won two Doubles.
Now the ungrateful say third place is rubble? Fools!
Mid-table mediocrity’s not far away
if you sack me for another manager today.
I’ve managed 20 seasons. For a 21st, or do I go?
The way things are going, I just don’t know.
(Aaron Ramsey)
Tell me why are refs so blind to see?
I get hacked, but he shows yellow card to me.
Been spending most of our lives
living in a Wenger’s Paradise.
I hear Piers Morgan’s lies
living in a Wenger’s Paradise.
We hear the injured’s cries
living in a Wenger’s Paradise.
My goals are killing guys
living in a Wenger’s Paradise.
(Arsene)
The board gave me a little money, and gave me all the power.
I got a Polish goalie smoking weed in the shower.
They think I’ve lost the passion, I should be more hungry.
Well, you can shove that bloody banner, you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry!
They say I gotta learn, but I’m the one who taught you.
You struggled for Europe before the magic nights I brought you!
I guess they can’t give enough of a f***
But after I’m gone, their whole life is out of luck, fools!
(Jack Wilshere)
Been spending most of our lives
living in a Wenger’s Paradise.
I hear Piers Morgan’s lies
living in a Wenger’s Paradise.
Tottenham’s s***, I surmise
living in a Wenger’s Paradise.
I make the sacrifice
‘cause I’m living in a Wenger’s Paradise.
(Olivier Giroud)
Tell me why are refs so blind to see?
You can’t rule offside against a handsome man like me.
(Mesut Ozil)
Tell me why are we so blind to see?
Get ridiculed on Sky and the BBC?
Ahhhh…
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