Martha and Lizzy lived lives on the plush
Martha baked cookies and Lizzy wore blush
Both of them blond, wore gold studs in their ears
Both of their heads were stuck up their rears.

Martha and K-Mart were known as a team
Lizzy held court as the cosmetics queen
Both were quite greedy, the money they craved
And both had big egos, and both misbehaved.

Martha did insider trading at large
Lizzy bought clothes with the corporate charge
Martha in the Big House for months served her time
And Lizzy's brunette now, because of her crime.

Perhaps in the future the two babes will meet
Lizzy at K-Mart will stand there and greet
Customer service served up with a smile
While Martha cleans vomit from the homemakers' aisle.

The moral of my story is plainer than day
Don't be a bimbo, for crime doesn't pay
Learn from these bitches, and play the game fair
Or else you'll end up with dark roots in your hair.