Have no desire to play any cricket wi-ith you
Just makes me ti-ired runnin' back and forth, dude
Though this is me-e, my runs will never excee-eed two
Because you force me-e to lug that bat round like a-a douche

No, I-I-I don't wanna play it, bud (it's not because I think it's really-y hard)
Cause I-I-I just plain don't like i-it, bu-u-ud (I know I suck, but that's just a sma-all part)
It's true
Stop draggin' me into it by my-y arm

I think cricket's la-ame, oka-ay? Really don't want to pla-ay
This whole cricke-et thing's for you-ou, not me, deal wi-ith it, du-ude
This damn cricke-et thing is la-ame, not my fav'ri-ite sports ga-ame
This whole cricket thi-ing's for you-ou-ou, can I skip fo-or once, du-ude?

No, I-I-I hate to play thi-is crud (tryin' to catch the ball, shorts rip a-apart)
Yes, I-I-I want to sit ou-out, bud (tryin' to throw the ball, hits your cro-otch parts)
It's true

I'm gettin' tired of you beggin' me to pla-ay, dude
You may requi-ire another person or two
For a full tea-eam, I get that, but it's still the-e truth
That I'm not sporty-y unlike the rest of you bi-ig dudes

No, I-I-I don't want to pla-ay, bud (should know I'll only drag your team do-own hard)
No, I-I-I hate this friggi-in' crud (you'd get more results with a pile o-of chard)
It's true
I'm bein' firm in my decisio-on, Mark
No, I-I (I'll swing that bat straight up your friggi-in' nards)
I know we're here already, you du-umbarse

Fi-ine, I gue-e-ess I-I-I'll pla-ay so-ome