Hubby:
Every single night
The same appointment
Squeeze the tube and rub it in
How I love to hate
This smelly ointment
For my muscle ache
Rub it in my skin
Working out all day and now I pay
For gallons of Ben Gay

Yes I've been
Going through the lotion
Or I'd go insane
It's the only thing that soothes the pain

I was quite a jock
And so athletic
Seems that I am getting old
Now my ankles lock
I have arthritis
And I'm always cold

Wife:
And he's growing mold-

Hubby:
That is what I'm told

Wife:
Boy, I hate that gel, that awful smell
And you can really tell
That he's been
Going through the lotion
Smears it everywhere
Puts it in weird places, yes I swear!

Hubby:
These pains are just quite the bummer
I am Pfizers' best cust-ummer

Wife: He could really use..

Hubby: A hummer!

I don't want to be
Going through the lotion
Buying all this cream
But I'm sore today
I need more Ben Gay
In a tube or spray

I scream!