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Song Parodies -> "The Dork Is Mine"

Original Song Title:

"The Boy Is Mine"

Original Performer:

Brandy & Monica

Parody Song Title:

"The Dork Is Mine"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

We all know the stereotype of the jock getting a nerd to do their maths homework. Well, what if two jocks argued over who gets the same nerd?
The dork is mine, the dork is mine
The dork is mine, the dork is mine
The dork is mine

Jock 1:
Excuse me, can I please talk to you for a minute?
Jock 2:
Uh huh, sure. You know, you look kinda familiar
Jock 1:
Yeah, no shit, dude. But, um, I just wanted to know, do you know that dweebhead named...you, you know his name
Jock 2:
Oh yeah, definitely, I know his name
Jock 1:
Well, I just want to let you that he's mine
Jock 2:
Aha, no, no, he's mine

Jock 1 & Jock 2:
You-ou need to give i-it up
'Fore your face ge-ets pu-unched
Face it, bro, you-ou see
The dork is mine
Know that me a-and you
Always get co-onfu-u-used
That's the-e point, you-ou see
The dork is mi-ine

Jock 1:
That twerp with the punched-i-in face
He turned all my-y grades to-o A's
Because I-I pro-omised him a-a break
From the-e ne-ext lo-ocker stu-uffin', ma-a-ate
Jock 2:
That may be so, but du-ude, you-ou see
He's done way be-etter fo-or me
Su-ure, my-y la-ast test wa-as a-a B
Bu-ut he-e wo-orked it ou-out with me-e-e
Jock 1:
There's no way that tha-at's ri-ight, mate
That's utter bullcrap what you've ju-ust to-old me
Cause you're just li-ike me-e with you-our du-umb brai-ain
Tha-at ne-erd-fa-ace is my-y math sla-a-a-a-a-a-a-ave
Jock 2:
Just because you do-on't think I-I could
Doesn't mean I-I ca-an't lea-earn goo-oo-ood
Base conce-ept you-ou've misunde-erstood
Tha-at vio-iole-ence ain't wha-at it too-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-ook (the dork is mi-ine)

Jock 1 & Jock 2:
You-ou need to give i-it up
'Fore I kick you-our bu-utt (you-our bu-u-u-u-u-u-utt)
Plain as day, you-ou see (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
The dork is mine (dork i-is mi-i-i-i-i-ine)
He ain't helpi-in' you (not helpin' you-ou-ou-ou-ou)
So far from the-e tru-u-uth (the tru-u-u-u-uth)
That ne-erd's helpi-in' me ('frai-aid so)
The dork is mi-ine (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)

Jock 1:
Fa-ace the-e truth, he ain't wi-ith you-ou
Tha-at da-amn twerp is not a foo-oo-ool
You need to-o kno-ow it's me-e, no-ot you-ou
Who's gettin' his homewo-ork done by-y that du-u-ude
Jock 2:
Funny thing i-is, that's not a-a lie
Because the fa-act is tha-at I
Di-id it myse-elf o-ove-er time
He gave me ti-ips for i-it all, ri-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-ight
Jock 1:
That's insa-ane, cau-ause it's no-ot the-e wa-a-ay
That us spo-ortish guys wo-ork, ma-ate
We punch dorkheads in the fa-ace
And they do the wo-ork for no pa-ay
Jock 2:
I'm not shocked you-ou missed the picture
Whi-ich i-is why-y in the-e fu-uture
I'll be framed all Ha-all-o-of-Fa-ame-like
While you're stackin' she-elves, the do-ork i-is mi-i-i-i-i-i-i-ine (the dork is mine)

Jock 1 & Jock 2:
You-ou need it give i-it up (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-ooh-oh)
Face the truth no-ow, bu-ud (no-ow, bu-u-u-ud)
Anyone ca-an see (ca-an see-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee)
The dork is mine (the-e-e dork i-is mi-i-ine)
Better drop i-it, dude (ju-ust dro-op i-it, du-u-ude)
You'll be black a-and blue-ue-ue (beat you black and blue-ue-ue)
Maybe-e then you-ou'll see (face the-e facts a-and see-ee-ee-ee)
The dork is mi-ine (the-e dork is mi-i-i-i-i-ine)
You-ou need to give i-it up (ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
Insistence i-is nu-uts (it's drivin' me nu-uts)
Ev'ryone ca-an see (he's mine)
The dork is mine (he's all mine, he's mine, he's mi-i-i-ine)
There's no point i-in you (no point, bu-uddy-y)
Continui-in', du-u-ude (no-o need to co-onti-inue-ue-ue-ue)
Plain fo-or all to-o see (a-all the-e students see-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee)
The dork is mi-ine

Jock 1:
Wouldn't be shocked if soo-oon I-I found
A whisper of the rea-eal tru-uth now
The do-ork i-is mi-ine unle-ess so-omehow (oh-oh-oh-ooh)
You've go-ot bla-ackmai-ail on hi-is ass no-o-ow
Jock 2:
What made you think that bu-ullshi-it, dude?
Don't answer that, I kno-ow the-e truth
You're thi-ick a-as he-ell, you cou-ouldn-n't start (oh-oh-oh)
To think to-o a-ask for he-elp, too ha-a-ard (oh-oh-oh-ooh-ooh)

Jock 1 & Jock 2:
You-ou need it give i-it up (just le-et i-it lie-ie-ie)
You're a friggi-in' du-unce (what an u-utter du-unce)
No way that you-ou'll see (you-ou re-efu-use to-o see-ee)
The dork is mine (the-e-e dork i-is mine, oh-ooh-oh-oh-oh)
Kinda sad tha-at you (it's rea-eal sad tha-at you-ou-ou-ou)
Are still so co-onfu-u-used (are so-o da-amn co-onfu-u-u-used)
I'm the-e jock he-e sees (I'm the one he-e see-ee-ee-ee-ees)
The dork is mi-ine (no-o, no-o-o)
You-ou need it give i-it up (you-ou need to give it u-u-up)
Get it through you-our sku-ull (you-our thick sku-ull)
Here's a hint fo-or free (o-one sma-all hi-int fo-or free-ee-ee-ee):
The dork is mine (the do-o-o-o-o-ork is mi-i-i-ine)
Face the simpl-le truth (mi-i-i-i-i-i-ine, oh-oh-oh-oh-ah-ah-ah-ah)
He won't deal wi-ith you-ou-ou (ain't gon' deal with you-ou-ou-ou)
You're plai-ain insa-ane, you see (just plain mad, you see-ee-ee-ee-ee)
The dork is mi-ine (the-e dork is mi-i-i-i-i-i-i-ine)
You-ou need it give i-it up (no-ot yours)
Askin' for a-a pu-unch (bu-ut mine, no-ot you-ours)
Wake up, moro-on, see (bu-ut mi-ine, not yours)
The dork is mine (bu-u-ut mi-i-ine)
How this can't ge-et through
Your too-thick hea-ead, du-u-ude
Is a-a myste-ery
The dork is mi-ine

I know I screwed up the correlation of Jock 1 = Brandy and Jock 2 = Monica in the second verse, but I kinda wrote before I listened to it and was too happy with what I wrote to scrap it.

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