Oh, twice upon a midnight dairy
I woke with coolattas in my bed
I couldn't escape the memory
Of a coupon that I got from Fred
Like a weight watcher failure with a big latte
I could not believe my eyes
When I saw through the fog it was a rusted sign
"Slip me a donut and I'll be fine"
Yeah, a donut and and I'll be fine

And I'll lie too then its time to dine
And as I eat order some wine
And when I'm feeling open you shouldn't be there
But not without a certain degree of fear
Of what will be with food and me
I still can eat cheese hopefully

But you...
Why you wanna give me a pita chip?
Is it a sure-fire way to make me ill?
When all it does is make me kill!!!!!!!!

And feed me and my double chin
with great pizza and lots of wings
But I've been there I can see it cower
Like a nervous chef that's cooking for me
Of a bad plate that's not full size
And nobody thinks or expects too much
And buffet's calling for the next big lunch
Singing "hey babe let's eat some brunch"
Hey baby let's eat some brunch

But I want more than one plate I want you to feed me
And I'll show you all the things no one else can see
So what you feel becomes mine as well
And soon if you're lucky you'd be unable to tell
What's mine is mine, fried fish is fine
And it doesn't have thyme so don't you feed me a lime

But you...
Why you wanna give me a hunk of cheese?
Is it a sure-fire way to slow things down?
When all it does is make me leave town

Tra la la bomba dear this is the stomach speaking
And I've got some news for you
It seems I'm still hungry so you need to feed me
and there's a whole lot you can do

Oh sure the rapper may be torn and the fridge may be empty
Perhaps the foods a little cynical
But I know no matter what the waitress brings
I shall drink in and never be full
Yeah, I will eat it and never be full

Oh, I like coffee
And I got fleas
But to be able to treat me again to cheese
I still got this pork that you just can't bake
I love it to the point you can no longer take
Well all right okay
so cook that way
I hope and pray
That there's enough money to pay

But you...
Why you wanna give me a big treadmill ?
Is it a sure-fire way to waste money ?
When all it does is collect dust
Oh you...
Why you wanna give me a big treadmill ?
Is it a sure-fire way to waste money ?
When all it does is collect dust