hey mum, there's some guys in my bedroom
hope they're not too hungry for some love
they're trying on my boardies
i find them all so boring
we both know that guy orgies are dumb

i think these guys are all gay for real (gay for real)
won't leave my window blinds open at night
i know that everyone would say
if i join them i am gay
wish someone would tell me what was right

up all night long
and something is growing long
i know it's getting late
i'll go and masturbate
i'm not like these guys (stop it)
i'm not like you

my friends are all such skeptics though they know me
my best friends, to them i'd never lie
but i need an injection
stops from getting an erection
not that i'd get excited by some guys

big and hairy, ordinary, masturbation, incestation
nice to know ya, paranoia, where's my brother, bio father?

up all night long
and something is growing long
i know it's getting late
i'll go and masturbate
kind of like these guys
like to rub their thighs