So in the streets of Dublin, Ireland, there are these two rather scruffy-looking fellows with signs begging for money and their hats in front of them to collect people's contributions. One is holding up a crucifix, and the other a Star of David. As Dublin's various townspeople wander by, a great many of them stride right past the guy with the Star of David and drop a few coins into the hat of the guy with the crucifix just to spite the Jew.

Along comes some well-intentioned soul who drops a few coins into the hat of the man with the Star of David and says to him "You know, lad, you're in Catholic central here. You're not going to get much money from begging if you're holding up a Jewish symbol like that."

The guy with the Star of David chuckles and turns to the guy with the crucifix. "Hey, Moshe," he says. "This goy here thinks he can teach us Jews how to make money!"

Submission not rated. Comment gets top scores for all criteria.

How many Jewish mothers does it take to screw in a light bulb -- Oh don't concern yourself about that. I'll just sit here alone in the dark

@Weisenheimer. Hey, fix the light so your Ma can read JJ's joke.

Good story, JJ. What kind of name is Arndt?

German, why? Does it matter? The original joke is from a Messianic Jew in a clean religious newsletter. Btw, Security Code is HK5. What can you read into that ;-)

This is the second time recently that you've published stereotype Jew jokes, justifying them by citing the innocence and purity of their sources. The impact and interpretation of these jokes depend very much on where they're published, and you are responsible for the stereotype comments you incite and the fertile ground you prepare for another round of active hatred.

Hmm... 2 harmless jokes out of 3234 parodies. For the record, I've also told other non-Jewish jokes and am Number 1 Joke Contributor to AiR for entertainment by Artist. If you want to complain, then complain to ZLM which published the joke which is distributed worldwide!

To view the original long format joke go to www.levitt.com, click Levitt Letter, choose May 2016 newsletter, PDF format. 35 of 36. View. And if you want a free subscription to your home click Levitt Letter and tick the box to the right, fill in info. Great source of information on Israeli military, politics, terrorism, technology, and of course the Messianic message and lessons from the Old and New Testaments from Jewish POV. Oh, and there's a humor section!

For the general good and for your own reputation, you should can all ethnic stereotype jokes -- Polish, Italian, Jewish, Irish, etc. They are unworthy. They are not harmless. Just a suggestion.

my old man wouldn't find this funny in the slightest we're not a jewish family but he's always just a little bit sensitive when it comes to jewish jokes for example here's one I found online that everybody except for him laughed at: "have you heard about the new jewish sports car? not only does it turn on a dime it stops to pick it up!" < see? nyuk nyuk good one huh? glad to see from the comments here on amiright that not everybody's as quick to get offended by a jewish joke as my dad! 455

When I grew up in the '70s, there were race joke books in the humor section of every bookstore. Books with jokes on: Blacks, Mexicans, Irish, Polish, Germans, Italians... almost A-Z. There was no such thing as political correctness. I don't think progress means we can't laugh at ourselves or others. Tact, yes, but censorship, no. While being criticized for a clean joke from a Jewish source, despite disclaimer, I find it unfair that some other materials I've used in the past nobody even cared about. The PC people tend to pick and choose instead of upholding any standard. From MAD Magazine I once commented on Mad's four shortest books collection. My favorite combo of all time includes: Polish Wit & Wisdom, Jewish Business Ethics, Italian War Hero's, and Negros I have Met while Yachting!!! That was from the '70s as well. A few people recognized it and submitted other Mad shorts or suggested I do a modern version. It's confusing...

Once you characterize a People as all having one particular characteristic, you're asking for trouble. Blacks have rhythm, stupid "Pollacks" need a group to figure out how to screw in a light bulb, Jews are money grubbers, Irish are drunkards, Italians are cowards in war, all 1.5 billion Muslims are terrorists. LOL. But when hard times come, as in the Weimar Republic and in the Reconstruction South, the aggrieved majority will look for scapegoats, often with deadly results. Scapegoats are the next step after stereotype. So disdaining these "jokes" goes way beyond P.C. Better watch out when you laugh at ethnic groups. You could be a member of one.

L.M. has it absolutely right. We must look out for each other. Those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it. In the words of Martin Niemoller:
First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out—because I was not a Socialist.
Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out— because I was not a Trade Unionist.
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out— because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.

I still can't figure out the "Messianic Jew" thing; sounds like something my hippy cousins in California might get into. Even Rabbi Goldberg didn't know. Maybe it just means someone who can't really tell a good joke. While we're on the topic, how about this one? (are you listening, JJ?).... Yeshiva University decided to field a crew team; but although they practised very hard, they never managed to come in any better than dead last. The Rosh Yeshiva finally decided to send Yankel to spy on the Harvard team. So Yankel schlepped off to Cambridge and hid in the bullrushes off the Charles River, where he carefully watched the Harvard team as they practised. Yankel finally returned to Yeshiva. "I have figured out their secret," he announced. "They have eight guys rowing and only one guy shouting."

For those who don't know, a Messianic Jew is a Jew that believes Jesus was the Messiah and who is saved. After all, salvation came to the Jews first and then to the Gentiles. Early churches were in Jewish homes. The true church age didn't start until the Day of Pentecost.

RA; Most ethnocultural traditions enjoy stories about scallywags, and even about caricatures, told by one of theirs from their own viewpoint. You might rescue this submission if you (i) take out the word "true", (ii) remove the introductory apology, (iii) use a more relevant OS, (iv) try self-deprecation. Q: (to the tune of MapleLeafForever) When did the monster devour the Canadian Prime Minister? A: Eight P.M. ..... Hey, Weisenheimer: you got any better jokes?

Sure thing, Doc. How many Teamsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? Twenty three; you gotta problem with that?

BTW, I heard that Jewish mother joke from my kid sister who has a Jewish mother-in-law because she, you know, married a Jewish guy. Of course, guilt tripping mothers is a Jewish stereotype, but it's one that plagues the Jewish people themselves. No one ever roughed up a Jew or trashed a Jewish business because of guilt tripping Jewish mothers

So, JJ and Mama sure can tell good jokes. Can't say the same thing for ZLM, Barney or Dr. Giorgio. Weisenheimer's pretty good, but he has clearly forgotten JJ's incredible story about his guilt-tripping great-aunt Hilda. Someone should post a good joke on this thread every day. My favorite site for Jewish humor, with thousands of jokes and stories is ... www.awordinyoureye.com

So, a rabbi, a priest and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender looks up at them and asks, "What is this; a joke?" ...... Your turn, JJ.

No Ma, its MY turn. This one's about you. The very first job I ever had was being a debt collector for a local loan shark. And when I told my mother about it, she was real upset. She said, "Oh, so you're a leg breaker now, are you? You should only have your OWN legs broken you schmuck, you no-goodnick. All those years I sat alone in the dark for you, and this is what you become, you thug, you muzhik. Get out of here!!" ..... And of course, I was totally shocked by this and I said, "MA! why you gotta talk to me like that!! You're not a Jew from Brooklyn; you're an Irish Catholic from Philly!!"

Gevalt! On Mother's Day, yet. That's what the rabbi and his friends were going to discuss in that bar - what to do about an unfeeling son. Where is JJ? (he's a real mensch). While we're waiting, you know, don't you, about the reform rabbi who was such a compulsive golfer that he snuck out for a quick 9 holes on Yom Kippur before morning service. An angel who happened to spy him notified his superiors that a grave earthly sin was in progress. At the sixth hole, God caused a mightly wind to carry the rabbi's drive 300 yards directly from tee to hole for a miraculous hole-in-one. The angel, horrified, called out, "Lord, you call that a punishment?" A voice reverberated down the fairway, "Who can he tell?"

Q: What materials do dinosaurs use for the floors of their homes? A: RepTiles. Q: What do you call the mating ritual of large carnivorous dinosaurs? A: Tyrannosaurus sex. Q: What's the best way to talk to a T. rex? A: Long distance.

So here's a limerick-verse from "Reia Light" at the OEDILF project ... / Said the priest to the rabbi, "I'm achin'! / How I hate this sad vow that I've taken! / Oh, this celibate life / Is a black pit of strife!" / Sighed the rabbi, "At least you get bacon." /