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Song Parodies -> "The B-2"

Original Song Title:

"I Love You"

Original Performer:

Barney and the Backyard Gang

Parody Song Title:

"The B-2"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

My 3500th parody. The Northrop B-2 Spirit is almost three decades old and unit cost for the 21 procured in more than $2 Billion each (development costs included). One crashed, so there are 20 left in service of which only 9 are ever airworthy! With the B-3 on the horizon, stealth is reduced. Emphasis has shifted to sensors, performance, and weapons load- more like the old B-52s and B-1s with a cost reduction per unit down to $600 million each. And sadly, the Russian and Chinese jet fighters can still kill these aircraft.
The B-2,
Almost 30,
Must give way to the cheaper B-3
Lost it's touch,
Stealth no longer a tech boom,
Over the Horizon and cellular can see you!

The B-2,
Flying wing,
Based upon a Horten scheme*
Dropped a bunch,
Kosovo, Afghanistan, and Iraq too,
Only 9 can fly, which is just too few!

B-3 blended body is overdue...
* although Northrop had a history with both flying wings and flying wing bombers (YB-35 and 49), the B-2's architecture and stealth nature come from the Nazi captured Horten Ho IX of 1945 which was the world's first stealth jet fighter. The US captured the V3 and Northrop reexamined it in storage, digitally mapping it and going over the old German stealth methods. The Horten brothers made more flying wings than Northrop and were consulted postwar by the US and even Argentina which built a flying wing transport. Hanna Reitsch broke more records postwar in Horten wings. The Roswell craft many believe was either a Horten parabola or delta design. It was never saucer shaped. The grooves cut into the bottom fuselage was anti-radar.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Jonathan - December 02, 2016 - Report this comment
Happy 3,500th! :) 455
Rob Arndt - December 02, 2016 - Report this comment
Thanks Jon!

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