Oy

I view the station
With trepidation
As I make my way
Down to the subway

'Cause there are so many freaks
With pins in their cheeks
And they stay
Down here in the subway

Gotta ride
With psychopaths and loonies
Gotta ride
With maniacs and Moonies
Gotta ride
With winos swilling Cabernet
Down in the subway

Some folks are wheezing
Some folks are sneezing
And they think it's ok
To ride on the subway

There's a guy
Who's wearing just a Speedo
There's a guy
Who really needs some Beano
There's a guy
Who thinks that he's a cheese souffle
Here in the subway

Now it's so packed that your right underarm
Is the only thing I can see, yech
Somebody's pet ferret is biting my toe
I think that I'm gonna scream

There's no denying
There's babies crying
So loud (so loud, so loud, so loud)

I wanna just escape
Hey, look at all the skinheads
Hey, look at all the inbreds
(I wish they'd go away)
I always carry pepper spray
(Always)
Down in the subway

Tell me why
The seats are kinda sticky
Tell me why
The smell is kinda icky
My oh my
I just stepped on a fish filet
(A moldy fish filet)
Down in the subway

Tell me why
There's fellas wearing girdles
There's mutant ninja turtles
Why do I
Keep riding each and every day
(It's so hard to look away)
Down in the subway
Down here in the subway