In swimming pools they have a different language that they speak
It's spoken by those teams who all are practicing each week
It's found out there on Swimming World, a magazine they use
And no one understands it when they read the swimming news

Like, Texas tapers but the time's on paper
Means a killer meet is coming prepare
The coach calls quits which is the pits
Means everything in plan is done

Each college conflicts, while coaches feel ticks
So some meets are happening back-to-back soon
They're taking their licks
'Cause the judges say knicks
And the editors are gonna try to fix it in the mix

But the sport sees green in paragraph fifteen
Means Dressel will be out in CA
Peaty gets meh on Come Dancing
Means London Roar has lost him, one day

If you want the poop or need the scoop
on SwimSwam news this week
You're gonna have to learn to talk that Competitive Speak

Bob a doo bop, a bob a doo bah
Bob a doo bop, a bob a doo bah

Drunk as a puff gives Phelps the cuffs
Means his mental health is in the red
But ISL's stuff is really gruff
Means Lilly King made a Russian bled

Well, Miller smiles for his second child
Means fatherhood is taking a toll
Wroeblewski's shows sheen with wedding scenes
Swimming at UCONN is down the hole

You gotta play it smart if you wanna be part
Of a sport so hip and chic
You're gonna have to learn to talk that Competitive Speak

Bob a doo bop, a bob a doo bah
Bob a doo bop, a bob a doo bah

Normal talk makes Olympians gawk
You might well as speak Greek
You're gonna have to learn
Or the practice will adjourn
Unless, my friend, you learn that Competitive Speak

Bob a doo bop, a bob a doo bah
Bob a doo bop, a bob a doo bah
Bah doop bah doop bah doop bahhh dah