I want you to know
I feel sorry for you
The apple does not
Fall far from the tree

Her mental capacity's
Thinner than Angie Jolie
She thinks that 60 Minutes takes two hours
She thinks an element goes
In bowls and under pillows
She thinks Superbad's a guy with special powers

If you look for her mind you will find it's the kind that's assigned
To a job that doesn't require one
We all know that she has a brain
So she'll eat, move her feet, not so fleet
With her cerebrum, her cerebrum
And you're her son

Her IQ is as tiny
As amebas yes it is very small
She had you, therefore science
Expains why you're not very bright at all
Your, your, your mom is slow

I am not obsessed
With her but if I
Was she wouldn't know
Because she isn't smart

She thinks that cornstalks can hear
And her fondness for beer
Is the sole reason
Why she votes Republican

And the ASPCA
Would hear from her that day
If she was told that you
Choked your chicken

If you look for her mind you will find it's the kind that's assigned
To a job that doesn't require one
We all know that she has a brain
So she'll eat, move her feet, not so fleet
With her cerebrum, her cerebrum
And you're her son

Her IQ is as tiny
As amebas yes it is very small
She had you, therefore science
Expains why you're not very bright at all
Your, your, your mom is slow

Stopped her car on parquet
With a wall in the way
She fear bones in filets
Even from a top-notch chef
It's pathetic

I'll keep ragging on her
If you don't say a word
Back in her defense
Well, don't you get it?

Her IQ is as tiny
As amebas yes it is very small
She had you, therefore science
Explains why she's not very bright at all
Your, your, your mom is slow