( The Setting : Philadelphia
What Time : 2:32 P.M
The Suspects : Three college frats , and a crash test dummy ,
driving down the one way street.

Now that you have the info , this is how it went down... )

( Song Begins )

Frat Boy # 1 - Hey! Look on yonder , what's that this way.
Frat Boy # 2 - Well that's an 18 wheeler to smash us today.
Frat Boy # 3 - I thought you told us , we we're in town?
Frat Boy # 1 - I wonder if there's a way it can turn it's ass around?
Frat Boy # 2 - Say , listen bro , don't go wastin' your time.
It'll keep on coming round till it tears up your spine.
Frat Boy # 3 - You gotta listen boys , you say you need him ,
but let's throw out Safety Guy , for the sake of
our freedom! Cuz' surely that thing will smash
us into meat , and Dummy , your head's on the
one way street , and we gotta go the other way!

( The kids throw the Crash Test Dummy out of the window ,
and his plastic body is then mutulated by the wheels of
the 18 wheeler truck. The guys then scream like girls ,
as the manican head smashes into the windshield.
Glass shatters all over them , as they still keep screaming
their girly asses off. The car veers to the right and barely
misses the 18 wheeler. Most of the excitement has ceased...
or has it? )

Frat Boy # 1 ( Wheeping like a sissy ) - I thought I knew him ,
my safety baby , how could that bastard ,
be so damn shady!
Frat Boy # 2 - He'll say he'd love to give an explanation ,
but if only he knew , what made this situation.
Frat Boy # 3 - That one way pity , where his stuffed head blew ,
it's such a pity , Safety , that's it for you.

( Just then , Frat Boy # 3 looks up , and see's another 18 wheeler
come their way. Frat Boy # 3 is alarmed , and shouts with
fear on what to do. )

Frat Boy # 3 - There's something up here , I never showed ya!
Let me say pretty clear , good to know ya!

( Frat Boy # 3 looks closely , he see's it's Frat Boy # 2's brother
Mike behind the wheel. )

Frat Boy # 3 - You know your brother Mike , he's behind at the
wheel , but I think he's looking like he wants to
make us squeel!
Frat Boy # 2 - Don't say that crap dude , I think he's forgotten.
He's just not that rude , to smash us rotten.
Frat Boy # 1 - You know I worked so hard to stay alive ,
now all I fear is my blood spilled on the road lines.
Frat Boy # 2 - Surely this will be our fate now , I can feel the heat ,
and maybe , we'll be dead on the one way street.
And I really now feel like we'll be moving on.
Our head's on that one way street ,
when you're piss is staining the back of the seat ,
your head is on that one way street.
Frat Boy # 1 - You've got to help us now , before we're...

( Both Vehicles collide , the 18 wheeler smashes the frat boy's
car into an oblivion. Frat Boy # 1 is so scared , he shits
through his pants , which touches Frat Boy # 3 , which makes
Frat Boy # 3 vomits on Frat Boy # 2 , Frat Boy # 2 punches out
Frat Boy # 3. The 18 wheeler still keeps pushing the car ,
which makes it spin down the road , the guys tumble around
in the car. All three of them smash through the backside of the
glass , they all land on their hands and knee's , looking
around , they smile at the fact that they're still alive , all of a
sudden , the car turns over and crushes their pancake bodies
flat. Now usually I'm generous enough to help those people
out in a situation like this...but hell , I'm in a freakin' new's
studio...and that's this week's story on Channel 5 , I'm the lead
singer of X-Marks the Future , saying Goodnight.