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Song Parodies -> "The Ballad of Donald and Stormy"

Original Song Title:

"The Ballad of Barry And Freda"

Original Performer:

Victoria Wood

Parody Song Title:

"The Ballad of Donald and Stormy"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

To those who don't know the original (one of the funniest songs ever written).. you're welcome There are several versions of this song with slightly different verses over the years. I'm sure this parody fits one of them... :-)
Donald and Stormy met one night
The sky was clear, the stars were bright
The night was warm, his robe was loose
Donald's sweat was quite profuse
She saw the decor round the room
She knew her payday would come soon
Stormy counted in her head
As Donald stroked himself
And
Said...

Let's do it, let's do it
Now that Melania isn't here
Don't fake it
I'll make it
The highlight of your porn career
I thought-a
I oughta
Tell you you remind me of my young, hot daughter
Let's do it, let's do it tonight

..but she said
I won't do it, I won't do it
The reason why you might have guessed
Not picky
Just icky
Maybe then if you incest
I'll thank her
Ivanka
She makes you much more horny than your av'rage wanker
Won't do it, won't do it.. just yet

..so he said
Let's do it, let's do it
You know it's gonna be so great
Demand tha'
You'll stand there
And let me watch you urinate
No flowers
For hours
Turn my body orange with your golden showers
Let's do it, let's do it tonight

..but she said
I won't do it, won't do it
That's really not my cup of tea
Divulging
You're indulging
In the wrong kind of perversity
Your belly
Gets smelly
You're taking the piss and I mean it liter-elly
Won't do it, won't do it.. just yet

..so he said
Let's do it, let's do it
I'll make sure you've been prop'ly thanked
It's feeling
Appealing
I love the thought of being spanked
Won't miss you
Or kiss you
Whack me on my buttocks with the Forbes "Trump" issue
Let's do it, let's do it tonight

..but she said
I won’t do it, won’t do it
You’ll never make my heart go “boom”
I’ve noticed
The POTUS
Is the elephant in the room
This right-winger
Wannabe swinger
Hands so small I can’t tell if he’s givin’ me the finger
Won’t do it, won’t do it just yet

..so he said
Let’s do it, let’s do it
I’m really needing to get shagged
Ain’t crimin-
al that women
Wanna get their pussy grabbed
A cross-section
No objection
Look at me I’m great at building huge erections
Let's do it, let's do it tonight

..but she said
I won't do it, won't do it
Look, how hard does it have to be?
Don't taint me
It ain't the
Country that you're screwin', it's me
Not the nation
This location
And we've yet to agree on my remuneration
Won't do it, won't do it.. just yet

..so he said
Let's do it, let's do it
I'm really wanting to get laid
Not shockin'
My stock in
Trade is gettin' people paid
This folly
So jolly
Let's make love on this pile of laundered Russian lolly
Let's do it, let's do it tonight

..then she said
I'll do it, I'll do it
I've got the money, I don't care
He's pervy
I'm curvy
It's gonna be a wild affair
He'll try it
To deny it
It's gonna cost him megabucks to keep me quiet
I'll do it, I'll do it tonight

..so he said
Let's do it, let's do it
Come the man, and come the hour
I'll let ya
Now get ya
Laughing gear on my Trump tower
This strumpet
‘ll pump it
But hell, I’m even better’t blowing my own trumpet

Our sinning
Beginning
You’re gonna win so much you’ll have enough of winning

Preferential
Influential
I'm redefining what is "being presidential"
Let's do it, let's do it tonight

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 1.5
How Funny: 1.5
Overall Rating: 1.5

Total Votes: 80

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   70
 70
 70
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   10
 10
 10
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Melanie Lee - January 30, 2018 - Report this comment
I only skimmed through the parody and I don't know the original song, but once again, I see 1-1-1's that I'm positive are undeserved. I'm sick of the carelessness that has creeped into this website. Pacing of a song has little to do with how funny the parody lyrics are or if you agree with them. Please judge the song's pacing by how well the parody fits the pattern of the original lyrics. Thank you.
Agrimorfee - January 30, 2018 - Report this comment
Hiya Melanie, it's been a long-standing quirk of this place that whenever some people don't like the POV of a parody--particularly in the recent months anything negative about a certain US president--said persons (and very likely in most cases ONE person, multiple times) vote 111 no matter the quality of the writing or pacing. As if this will change the parody's stance. As if this is a punishment to the writer's reputation. As if anyone cares. The rating system here, hence, is thereby moot and irrelevant.
Plausible Deniability - January 30, 2018 - Report this comment
Well, I didn't know the original either, but Hey! Since you provided a handy link, I am now! And you're correct -- it's hilarious, which makes the fact that your parody may be even more hilarious all that much more impressive. As Melanie notes, this site plain sucks ass. (Well I'm pretty sure that's what she meant to say). It's filled with petty pretenders whose parodies suck ass. You, on the other hand, have been fantastic and consistent from the start. You're a very gifted writer, Phil, and one of your contributions is always a treasure, buried in a mountain of mediocrity. Bravo as usual; one of your best.
John Jenkins - January 31, 2018 - Report this comment
It is all stellar with excellent rhyming, but the trumpet line and the POTUS/elephant lines stand out for me (even thought the alleged stormy encounter occurred long before Trump became POTUS).
Phil Alexander - January 31, 2018 - Report this comment
Thanks, all :-) I'm kind of pleased with this one, it's getting its first run-out in front of the public tomorrow..

Melanie - the OS is truly wonderful (and it does make for a fun song to parody, too). Have a listen from the link above the parody :-) As for 1-voters, some of it may be political, but I also noticed a wonderfully petty surge in 1-votes after I started arguing with an at-best-mediocre parody author on here who seems convinced that votes on amiright actually mean something. Sigh..

@Plausible Deniability - I'd hate to put this forward as *more* hilarious than the OS, which is an all-time classic here in the UK (though it's also very British in humour).. but thank you, anyway :-)

@JJ - Hi :-) I'm aware that this could be considered chronologically-challenged, but poetic (or comedic) licence applies.
CML - January 31, 2018 - Report this comment
Never heard of this song or Victoria Wood before, Phil, but both the song and the singer are (were) very charming to say the least. She was also very talented
John Jenkins - February 01, 2018 - Report this comment
I agree - whether you spell it license or licence, I will renew your poetic and comedic licenses for another year.
Check & Mate - February 01, 2018 - Report this comment
You losers really are grasping at straws these days when you go seeking to revive long-discredited fake news stories of yesteryear and yesteryesteryear:

https://twitchy.com/gregp-3534/2018/01/12/fake-news-porn-star-stormy-daniels-denies-having-affair-with-donald-trump/

So collapses another leftard narrative.
Bill Clinton - February 01, 2018 - Report this comment
I do the redefining of what's Presidential around here, BEYOTCH! Now get down on your Presidential kneepads and give me satisfaction, Eurocatamite!
Has it really never occurred to you - February 01, 2018 - Report this comment
that one person taking the time to vote ones on something so many times sends a very different message than the one you intend? And of course it does nothing to alter the reality that this is the most brilliant parody that’s appeared on the site in recent memory. But keep fighting the good fight you superhero you
Did you Democrat-fellating hypocrites really believe - February 04, 2018 - Report this comment
you would get your virginity back after whoring yourselves out so much for the Clinton and Hussein regimes? You were dishing out 111 bombs by the dozen at the time on anyone who pointed out what a pervert and liar and disgrace to the entire USA Clinton was and what a bigoted goose-stepping fascist racist usurper Hussein was, and yet you're such brazen hypocrites that NOW you try to lecture us for pissing all those 111s you gave us back on your unfunny leftard agitprop pieces posing as "parodies" here?

The only "reality" here is that this no-talent hack Phil's latest sex fantasy about Trump masquerading as a "parody" is only the SECOND most idiotic bit of leftard wankery we've seen from you droolers since you all spanked your monkeys to that likewise blatantly fake Russian dossier last year. You're only lashing out at those of us who give it the 111-bombs it so richly deserves because now we're making you play by your own rules; you lawless leftards HATE having to live by the rules you imposed on others now that you can no longer exempt yourselves from them, don't you? It's not our fault you parasites don't enjoy having to suck your own blood.
Agrimorfee - February 05, 2018 - Report this comment
Hi, Linda Terhune. http://www.amiright.com/parody/90s/nirvana244.shtml
Phil Alexander - February 05, 2018 - Report this comment
@Check and Mate - oh, the irony of a Trump supporter thinking that truth has anything to do with anything these days: I'm merely giving back to Trump what he has earned a thousand times over. To be honest, I'm more worried about traducing Ms Danlels' reputation by suggesting she was in it for the money. Tell you what, at the point where Trump owns up and apologises to all the people he has lied about, I'll remove this parody. What do you say?

@Bill - your time has come and gone, you seem positively boring and reasonable now

@Did etc. - someone else for whom truth or honesty is a secondary consideration. You really don't know what you're talking about. Have a look: I'm not anywhere "lashing out" at the idiot who thinks that voting 1s is some kind of political statement: I have on many occasions on amiright said that I consider them a positive thing, a badge of honour if you like. It takes a work that's actually saying something worthwhile to make it worth spending all that time clearing cookies and re-voting. And if you think I'm a "no-talent hack", maybe you'd be good enough to show what you consider to be talent here on amiright? I'm just wondering if there are any vestiges of a sense of humour in there at all...
Zzz... - February 05, 2018 - Report this comment
Phil's a nutter, please ignore.
7 Talents Superior 2U - February 11, 2018 - Report this comment
http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/thedrifters2.shtml
http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/harrybelafonte11.shtml
http://www.amiright.com/parody/2010s/paramore3.shtml
http://www.amiright.com/parody/80s/billyidol18.shtml
http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/themonkees104.shtml
http://www.amiright.com/parody/80s/georgejones2.shtml
http://www.amiright.com/parody/80s/steviewonder35.shtml
Phil Alexander - February 12, 2018 - Report this comment
I'll give you Spaff, because he's truly awesome.. but some of those make me think that we value very different things in parody (or possibly you were just picking songs at random in the hope I wouldn't look). What, no Kristof Robertson, Claude Prez, M&P, MP (nah.. he's probably too left-wing for you), Stuart Macarthur, Jeff Reuben, Ethan, BAD?? These guys are *good*. Thing is, so am I: I perform on a regular basis, and the audience reaction (& repeat bookings) is more than enough to let me know just how good my stuff is.
Claude Prez - February 12, 2018 - Report this comment
I'm going to agree with everything Phil just said and also point out that he has the balls to stand behind what he says without hiding behind an anonymous alias. You should try it sometime, it's fun having balls
Claude Prez - February 12, 2018 - Report this comment
So that’s a no thanks on the gonads thing? Sad!
Agrimorfee - February 13, 2018 - Report this comment
Do not feed the trolls!
Claude Prez - February 13, 2018 - Report this comment
Pretty sure I've made my position clear on this. Trolls want attention. This cowardly POS isn't looking for attention; he's anonymously attacking people he finds threatening. If he wants to discuss politics with Phil or anyone else, he should man up and reveal his usual handle, or keep his opinions to himself. It's not difficult to understand.
Anonymous - February 13, 2018 - Report this comment
^ this guy a threat? BWAHAHAHAHA!!!
Claude Prez - February 13, 2018 - Report this comment
Actions speak louder than words, dickless. Show your face if you dare.
Anonymous - February 14, 2018 - Report this comment
I’m not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone!
The Other Anonymous - February 14, 2018 - Report this comment
I wasn't sure this was a bad parody until the 1 ratings went over 50. Now I know this is a really, really, REALLY bad parody, because how else could it get 50 bad ratings. And I'm warning you Phil, if it gets more than 60 111s, I will have no choice but to consider this the worst parody EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anonymous - February 14, 2018 - Report this comment
You'll have to excuse the other anonymous. He's a little dense
Attendee - February 14, 2018 - Report this comment
Phil's got worse ratings!!! No joke!
Agrimorfee - February 14, 2018 - Report this comment
The Other Anonymous is gonna have to work much harder than that. Oh, by the way, serial downvoting merely disengages what votes used to mean here, so it doesn't mean anything anyway.
Carrot - February 14, 2018 - Report this comment
^ if you were twice as smart, you'd still be dumb!
The Other, Other Anonymous - February 15, 2018 - Report this comment
Yup, worst parody EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stick - February 15, 2018 - Report this comment
Dork.
Phil Alexander - February 15, 2018 - Report this comment
@Attendee - "worse ratings" = "fewer votes" in my book. 1-votes don't mean the parody is bad, it just means that somebody didn't like it. It looks to me like I've riled some humourless Trump supporters, either a few dozen or more likely one or two who're so incensed by somebody being funnier than the marmalade fuhrer they keep coming back to make me feel ever better about how well this parody is doing.

..and has anyone noticed that this "long discredited" story is still running, so very discredited that Trump's lawyer claims to have paid $130k out of his own pocket to keep Ms Daniels schtumm? Which payment, of course, could have had nothing whatsoever to do with the denial so unquestioningly touted above...
Nobody Cares - February 17, 2018 - Report this comment
This is another steaming pile from The Daft Works, LTD. Of course Conservatives will bomb this liberal nonsense! Use a bit o' common mate!
Zen Adam B. - April 09, 2018 - Report this comment
Orange ya glad Stormy!
Spaff.com - April 10, 2018 - Report this comment
Glad I stumbled upon this, Philbo! When I saw the title, I initially thought it was a parody of “The Ballad of John and Yoko,” and thought, damn, I didn’t realize I had stolen your idea of a Beatles parody about Donald and Stormy. Instead, I was introduced to a lovely original song I wasn’t aware of. So thank you for that.

Fantastic work here! Great rhymes, and as us old-timers used to say, TMGLTM. I would love to hear you perform this live.

Almost as funny as your parody are some of the comments. For someone to call the Stormy Daniels story “fake news” shows just how easily manipulated The Donald’s fans have allowed themselves to become. Of his countless lies, I predict that “fake news” is the one he’ll be most remembered for.

The Stormy Daniels story is, in fact, very, very real, and it’s getting realer every day. Just ask Michael “Says who?” Cohen.

I feel for Claude Prez, shouting at invisible pigs. They’re almost as bad as the visible ones.

To whomever listed one of my parodies as an argument against the talent of Phil Alexander: This one of his is better than that one of mine. Also: Go to hell.

(And now here I am, shouting at invisible pigs.)

Finally, heartfelt thanks to Donald J. Trump for MAKING AMERICA GRATE!

On my nerves.
Boo! - April 11, 2018 - Report this comment
Phil just likes to stir the pot. He doesn't know what he's talking about, especially when it comes to American anything.
Mavis - November 09, 2018 - Report this comment
OY

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