Ow!
Oh yeah, get up!
Ow!
Ow! Ow!

Well they say it’s kinda sickenin’ how this Big ol’ rotten Apple tastes,
You know it’s more than just some economics.
Well, the kids are into usin’ speed and they beat old ladies ‘till they bleed,
You know, the crime rate is just astronomic.

And they call on Kojak,
Yeah, they call on…
Call on Kojak.
And I say: rock on!
Huh!
Rock on!

And when some local gangs get down, they make decent people frown,
They say, “Where were your parents, boy, parents, boy?”
(Parents, boy)
And the NYPD hits the streets, and there’s one detective on the beat,
And he’s overjoyed.
(Overjoyed!)
Ow!

And they call on Kojak, ow!
Yeah, they call on…
Call on Kojak.
And I say: rock on!
Huh!
Rock on!

[guitar solo]

[Kojak]:
Who loves ya, baby?

[another guitar solo]

And when some local gangs get down, they make decent people frown,
They say, “Where were your parents, boy, parents, boy?”
And the NYPD hits the streets, and there’s one detective on the beat,
And he’s overjoyed.
Those crooks are null and void.

And they call on Kojak,
Yeah, they call on…
Call on Kojak.
I say: rock on!
Huh!
Rock on!
Rock on!
Rock on!
Rock on!
Rock on!
Rock on!
Rock on!
Rock on!
Rock on…

[fade out, just like the Golden Era of Cop Shows]