I cannot say
Just what might end this curse
I don't put down the toilet seat
And you never ever look first

You were tryin to find
A decent fella - me
One thing that I can't help
Is I stand up to pee

I never knew you were a fool
But darling look at you
Now you can't stand up straight
Gravity is fate
Those stares are gettin you nowhere baby

You've got to squeeze your cheeks together
You've got stuck in a toilet
And now you can't get out of it

Don't flush cause your butt will just get wetter
Now you're stuck in a toilet
And you can't get out of it

I will not debate
Butter or Vaseline
Just let me try the pliers first
I promise it wont sting

I am still enchanted
By the laughs you brought to me
I listen to your swears
Angry eyes I still can see

You know it isn't cool
To cuss me like you do
I know it's tough
But I can never get enough
Because you look silly right now
My, oh my

You've got to squeeze your cheeks together
You've got stuck in a toilet
And now you can't get out of it

Oh love, look at you now
You've got yourself stuck in a toilet
And you can't get out of it

You were unconscious, half asleep
The water is warm 'til you discover it's pee

You weren't sitting, to me that was a fall
That's why I came running down the hall

You've got to squeeze your cheeks together
You've got stuck in a toilet
And now you can't get out of it

Don't flush cause your butt will just get wetter
Now you're stuck in a toilet
And you can't get out of it

And if the john runs over
And if the seal don't last
And if this way should falter
These tools should free your ass

And if the john runs over
And if the seal don't last
And if this way should falter
These tools should free this ass

It's just a toilet
We'll free your ass