The rising of the oceans
is something that we’ll never see.
It’s just a dweebish notion
from a suspect community.

What, these guys believe in “science”?
They’re buying all this “science”?
I’d rather take astrology.

It is just a scam that’s stirred
up by these guys, the “scientists.”
It’s just, well, chimerical…
blinding us with “science.” Schmience!
Silence “science”!

No one needs the SPF lotion,
just because that is my decree.
The warming of the oceans
Will not happen because of me.
What’s this? These guys believe in science?!
All of it is suspect to me;
it’s a scam—that’s my decree.
Guy’s believe in science? Science?!
Schmience!

They no doubt have PhD’s,
guys who’re buying science. Schmience!

Much greater are my notions;
it’s magical thinking for me.
So show me your devotion
by believing all I decree

I’m heavenly, sacerdotal, of yugeness full—
you had best believe it.
There they go again,
these science nuts. They don’t believe anything
I exude, and “liar”’s
how they denote
all of my fact-free notions.
But I’ll cause them some commotion,
’cause no more funding will they see.
I don’t care about oceans,
although I should, because near sea,
some of my fine, nice highrises
could be blighted highrises
Sea’s rising, oh shit…!

[fade on underwater gurgling sound]