What is Morrissey going to write?
I hope it's witty and it's clever, and used as a soundbite
When I get my copy, I wish my wife would leave me alone,
Because it's on preorder at the store

He's got a story to write
About all of the things that happened in his life
It's too late at the store, I'm relying on Amazon.com
Because I like online shopping, avoiding crowds at the store

And when the Amazon truck delivers it to us,
I will not rely on the Waterstone's supply
And if it gets stuck delivering to us
Well, at least I tried, two days late would be fine

What is Morrissey going to write?
I hope it's there, hope it's there, hope it's there
And when I saw the Parcel Force truck, I rejoiced, my copy's here at last!
I want to read my copy with my new tea flask

I'm going to read by candlelight
And in a comfy chair (yes, a chair, yes, a chair, oh, a chair!)
Reading the book there, I never even want to roam,
I'm on Chapter One, moving on, to page 61

Now the Parcel Force truck has delivered it to us!
To buy it online is such a wonderful to buy
It delivered it without a fuss,
I can't put it down, I like every line

Now I know what this book is about,
I'll be a reader who never goes out
Now I know what this book is about,
I'll be a reader who never goes out (x2)