KEEBLER COOKIES (Parody of "Give It To Someone Else"--track 23)
I want the cookies from Keebler's elves
And lick the fudge all day
I want the cookies from Keebler's elves
Now that is what I pray
Chocolate Covered Grahams at home
The treats that I adore
Elven magic is a hit
I want to buy some more
It would be my solemn wish
To join those little men
In their bakery in the woods
Ernie's in charge again
I want the cookies from Keebler's elves
And lick the fudge all day
I want the cookies from Keebler's elves
And lick the fudge all day

MINUTE MAID (Parody of "Less Not More"--track 25)
The juice is in the fridge
In a bottle made of glass
I just want a taste, to leave,
And get out the door fast
The Minute Maid swims across my tongue once more
And I decided that I want to
Drink some more
Drink some more
Drink some more

BAND-AID BANDAGES (Parody of "Birds In the Trees"--track 27)
Band-Aids on my knees
Protect from germs and disease
Next time the skin breaks
Slip on another one and go
Band-Aids on my knees
(Go to sleep!)

SEARS CRAFTSMAN (Parody of "Handful of Desire"--track 28)
Now Sears has got the hardware beat
We surely have the skill
Some hammers and screwdrivers and
Some automatic drills
For all of your hardware needs
Sears Craftsman will fulfill

CARMEX (Parody of "Moisture"--track 29)
Did you eat a huge amount
Of salty nacho chips?
I think you need some balm upon
Your cracked and painful lips
No one knows exactly
Why the odor makes you high
But if your lips are feeling worse
Let Carmex be your guide

BOUNTY (Parody of "Love Is..."--track 30)
Tell me that your paper towels
Are better than another?
The only paper towel to buy is Bounty
You can't call the other towels
"The quicker picker-upper"!
The only one like that is Bounty