There's a little black spot on my shorts today
That's my underwear
It's the same old spot as yesterday
That's my underwear
There's a tear in the band cause my gut does flop
That's my underwear
There's a rip in the back cause my wind won't stop
That's my underwear

I have stood there before, out in the pouring rain
With my shorts being scrubbed to the point of pain
Even Clorox and bleach can not make it wane
I guess it's my destiny to be the king of stain

There's a gas pocket trapped in my stomach wall
There's a noise down below that sounds like a growl
Like a blue whale caught on a shallow beach
I search for relief that is out of reach

I'm the king on the throne as I squeeze one out
The guy in the next stall is trying to get out
There's a deaf man gagging with a look of dread
It would choke a skeleton if it were not dead

There's a red cloud that breaks up the bathroom pack
As they run for the door and dare not look back
There's a little black spot on my shorts today
It's the same old spot as yesterday
That's my underwear..........

I have stood there before, out in the pouring rain
With my shorts being scrubbed to the point of pain
Even Clorox and bleach can not make it wane
I guess it's my destiny to be the king of stain........

King of stain....Must I always be....king of stain...........