There's a little bald spot on my head today
It's a little bigger than yesterday
My toupée got caught in a high tree top
It was blown away and the wind won't stop

I have stood here before inside the pouring rain
With my follicles dying just outside my brain
I guess I'm always hoping that my hair won't fade
But it's my destiny to have to use Rogaine

There's a little bald spot on my head today
There's no hair up there
It's a little bigger than yesterday
There's no hair up there
My toupée got caught in a high tree top
There's no hair up there
It was blown away and the wind won't stop
There's no hair up there

I have stood here before inside the pouring rain
With my follicles dying just outside my brain
I guess I'm always hoping that my hair won't fade
But it's my destiny to have to use Rogaine

There's a hairball my cat spit up in the hall
There's no hair up there
There's my sad, bald reflection in a bowling ball
There's no hair up there
There's an ad for Propecia on the web
There's no hair up there
There's a mannequin posing without a wig
There's no hair up there

I have stood here before inside the pouring rain
With my follicles dying just outside my brain
I guess I'm always hoping that my hair won't fade
But it's my destiny to have to use Rogaine

There's a doll on the bed with its hair torn out
There's a bald man looking for a cure, no doubt
There's a hairless Chihuahua on a doggie bed
There's another dog shedding to no end
Use Rogaine

There's a picture of me with more hair, from way back
There's no hair up there
There's no use in denying it, my hair does lack
There's no hair up there
There's a little bald spot on my head today
It's a little bigger than yesterday

I have stood here before inside the pouring rain
With my follicles dying just outside my brain
I guess I'm always hoping that my hair won't fade
But it's my destiny to have to use Rogaine

Use Rogaine
Use Rogaine
Use Rogaine
I'll always use, use Rogaine