[Legolas]
We were off to fight them
Fiends from Mordor
The wizard said to me
"Here comes another lot"
And then he buggered off
With Pippin at his side
I saw him ride away
And felt cold in-side

Got on a sprightly horse
You sat behind, of course
I had a feeling
It may break under you
To Pelennor, now
To fight a battle
Against many evil foes
We'd cut the things in two

[Gimli]
They had hoards of those orcs
They had bloody great trolls
And I thought when I saw them
We may never get old
Then you pointed ahead
At an army or three
You said there were
Uruk-hai waiting for me

[Legolas]You are too small
[Gimli]You're too pretty
It's true, don't get snitty
[Both]When we both finished counting
You wept at the score
The axes were swinging
While a hobbit was singing
We headed for Gondor
Then fought through the night

And the men of the Minas Tirith guard
Were fighting through the day
While the beacons all lit up
For Rohan aid

[Gimli]You're no fun
So I've said
[Legolas]There's no sense in your head
And your feet turned to lead at the Paths of the Dead
[Gimli]Keep away from my delf *
No-good lousy wood-elf
I'll kick you up the arse
If you kill off the last

[Both]And the men of the Minas Tirith guard
Were fighting through the day
While the beacons all lit up
For Rohan aid

[Legolas]I was on ninety-one
[Gimli]I hit another one
You stole my kills from me
My count was but two
[Legolas]My arrows took them out
Counted them as my own
Can't take them all alone
We killed all we ran into

[Both]The men of the Minas Tirith guard
Were fighting through the day
While the beacons all lit up
For Rohan aid