Bowser: Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
From the mind that brought you the Great Koopa Caper
The villain whose face is on every newspaper
And greater things like the Star Rod hassle
Make aspiring minions flock to my castle
Now comes the real coup de grace!
It’s time for our final hurrah!

My earlier crimes were good in their times
But it’s at this time that I find
A new plan’s occurring
New evil is stirring
Inside my masterful mind!

Soldiers: Even meaner?
You mean it?
Worse than the nobles and rich ones you robbed?
You’re the best because you’re no slob!
Oh Bowser
Oh Bowser
It’s pain that you bring
Oh Bowser
Oh Bowser
The Kingdom’s best mastermind king!

Bowser: Thank you, thank you, but it hasn’t always been wine and mushrooms, sadly. I’ve had my share of downtrodden times, thanks to that pesky busybody Ray Paratroopa!
Soldiers: Boo!
Bowser: For nearly a year now, he’s been stopping scheme after scheme! I haven’t had a moment’s peace of mind since…
Soldiers: Aw…
Bowser: But all that is gonna turn around! This time, not even Ray is going to stand in my way! All will bow before me!
Soldiers: Oh Bowser
Oh Bowser
They’ll reap what you sowed
Oh Bowser
Oh Bowser
Wilson: To Bowser, the world’s greatest toad! * hiccup *
Soldiers: * gasp *
Bowser: What was that? What did you call me?!
Howard: He didn’t mean it, Your Viciousness!
Paul: Yeah, he’s just been in the cask again!
Bowser: I am NOT a toad!
Joey: Of course not! You’re a Koopa!
Howard: Yeah, that’s right, a Koopa!
Paul: Yeah, uh, a BIG Koopa!
Bowser: SILENCE!! Oh, my dear Wilson, I’m afraid that you’ve upset me…and you know what happens to those who upset me.
* Off-screen sound of Bowser burning Wilson to ashes *
I trust there will be no more interruptions tonight…As you were, boys…

Soldiers: Even louder
We’ll YELL it!
No one can tell what we know you can do
You’re much nastier than even you!
Oh Bowser
Oh Bowser
Evil is your thing
Oh Bowser
Oh Bowser
The Kingdom’s best mastermind KING!