(instrumental opening)

All the shutterbugs catch the girls
who do the sand dance, don't you know.
If they click too quick
(oh way oh)
they're gonna feel like a bum and so
all the bizarre men wait a while
they're by their mailbox, you can bet.
Such leering smiles
(oh way oh)
they'll read and need a cigarette.
But they'll write and be so uptight, say
(way oh, way oh, oh way, oh way oh...)

"Cancel my subscription!"

(instrumental break)

Blonde model chicks take your eyes
which spin around like they did before.
See Vendela
(oh way oh)
you drop your drink, she's dressed like a whore.
All the school kids, so sick of books
want Elle Macpherson in their hands.
When their dads walk in
(oh way oh)
they're having a conniption!

All the pops, want this to stop, say
(way oh, way oh, oh way, oh way oh...)

"Cancel my subscription!"

(instrumental break)

(whistles... possibly including wolf whistles)

Once Cheryl Tiegs, and later on
the former Mrs. Billy Joel
that Christie rocks
(oh way oy)
Paulina took over her goal.
If you want to find all the boys
they're treating these girls as if they're toys.
They sweat and pant
(oh way oh)
their moms get upset at the noise.
In England and Scotland, their wails
they love Kathy Ireland.
But the censors know
(oh way oh)
they won't put up with this again!

They're the pits, they're such hypocrites, say
(way oh, way oh, oh way, oh way oh...)

"Cancel my subscription!"

"Cancel my subscription!"

(instrumental fadeout)