There's a cannoli in my eyes.......
It's the obese mans desire!
But now it's time to skip the cream.
And remove this spare tire.

I can feel us wobble when we touch,
and I feel the result of cake....
and it affects the both of us....

I've been drinking just Bud Light.....
I've been fighting my two-forty-two.......
I'm gonna try with all my might......
to make my goal now come true:

Can you feel me wobble when we touch?
Can you feel the results of cake?
It affects the both of us,
This health crisis can't wait:

I'm too darn fat,
I'm bulky as lead [I'm too darn fat]
My arteries explode & I'll be dead!
I'm too darn fat,
I can't slim down;
Girl I'm in shape & that shape is 'round!!

Another Dairy Queen I drive by......
And in the the night the salad scoff's at you & I...
And now my pay-check comes at last,
Hope it's as big as my fat a**:

I can feel you rumble as we touch,
And I wonder what you ate,
Wretching out to both of us.....

....theres a cannoli in my eyes...............
turn the pages of Weight Watchers!
Now it's time to count calories.....
Or become real good liars:

I'm too darn fat
I'm heavy as lead [I'm too darn fat]
My heart explodes, and I'll be dead!
I'm too darn fat,
I can't slim down;
Girl I'm in shape & that shape is round:

I can feel us wobble when we touch,
Ooooh, and I feel the result of cake,
it affects both of us....
We gotta lose some weight!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm too darn fat!
You're too darn fat!
We're too darn fat!