Advertised for young boys
Who wanted to sail 'round the world'
Such a fright for me
Gullible, I be
Weekly grow-im' paler
Circumstance dictated road
That I travelled to get here
I'll learn 'aft' meant 'at the rear'

I regret now, do I
Blunder bad, made me cry
Left me fashed, mad as heck
Blowing horns, scrubbing decks
I just spent six months in a cheeky boat
Cruddy tub that hardly floats

Hey, I'm doubled over, hugging rail and feeling ill
Listen as I hurl
They all laughed as my eyes whirled
This poor laddie's resistance
Didn't stop these mariners
They seek a port at sea
All want to frigate me

Ah come on all you lads
Let's forget that they did
Share the world of the hold
Shame it smelled, bad of mold
I'm stuck with six bums with their cheeky boat
Six months in this cheeky boat

Ship-packed love can be cruel
There's a mast on my mind
There's seamen at my tail
My poopdeck's been assailed
We're much too far from home and jerky's low
Hope we won't have to eat Joe...