Hey, hey, hey, hey
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-woah

I play online constantly
Sometimes I pwn, sometimes I'm dyin' badly
But what I always leave out
It's usefulness I'm always really doubtin'
It's the whole "online chat" part
Because while I'm fine with yellin' and cursin' lots
Strangers hearin' me impa-art
Those words? I would never press start, buddy

No thanks, headset's not for me
No, no, no, no
No thanks, that headset's not me

It's not just words from me
That I do-on't want to share free
It's the constant flow of morons
Lou-oud, loud, loud
Though they may be thirteen
They're all a-actin' like they're fi-ive
I don't want them in my eardrums
No-ow, now, now, now

Hey, hey, hey, hey
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-woah

Don't list the benefits
Like how teamwork will not go to shit
Would be fine if my friggin' connection
Didn't die damn near constantly-y, uh
Also: tried previously
"Teamwork"'s a joke, ev'ryone interrupts, geez
And they will blow your ass up
If you beat them to the jeep, so arsehole-y

So no, headset's not for me
No, no, no, no
No thanks, a headset's not me

I'll still play online
Many kinds of ga-ames
But I'll act the mime
Without the face-pai-aint
Not a thing to say
That isn't mean or lame
Still say comments snide
But I will be-e safe
From twerps screamin' "gay"

That's lame
Blah, blah-blah-blah blah-ah
Blah-blah-blah blah-ah
Blah-blah-blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah
Blah, blah-blah-blah blah-ah
Blah-blah-blah blah-ah
Blah-blah-blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah
Blah-ah, blah-blah-blah blah-ah
Blah-blah-blah blah-ah
Blah-blah-blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah
Blah, no earphones or mi-ic