A little girl came up to me, acting kind of strange
She had a penny in her hand, was asking for some change
She had seen my face before, and thought I was Dwight Frye
So I said "What is your I.Q.? It can't be very high"

It was only seventeen, seventeen
Yeah, she was flaky
It was only seventeen, seventeen
She said "I love me"
Seventeen I.Q.
Seventeen I.Q.

How she talked all through the night, not making any sense
Then she bragged about her height, while standing on a fence
She said she once had tried a book, was written by a sage
But it was yucky so she quit, while eating the first page

It was only seventeen, seventeen
Yeah, she was goofy
It was only seventeen, seventeen
But she was young, and dumb, and oh, so brainless
Wish I could say that I found her painless
This moron, this airhead, this mental zed
No, I have to run now, I'm almost brain dead

Seventeen I.Q.
Seventeen I.Q.

A little girl came up to me, holding a spittoon
She said it hit her on the head, it must be from the moon
She had seen my face before, and thought I was Don Ho
So I said "I am the same guy, you met an hour ago"

It was only seventeen, seventeen
Yeah, she was woozy
It was only seventeen, seventeen
But she was young, and dumb, and oh, so dizzy
Started to rain and her head got fizzy
YEAH

Seventeen I.Q., dizzy, dizzy
Seventeen I.Q., fizzy, fizzy
Seventeen I.Q., flaky, flaky
Seventeen I.Q., woozy, woozy
Seventeen I.Q., goofy, goofy
Seventeen and she was young and dumb, and oh, so wasted
Brain like a turkey that was half-basted
This pinhead, this doofus, I ought to flee
But I had to stay, 'cause she ate my car keys

Cough up, little girl
Seventeen I.Q., seventeen and dizzy
Seventeen I.Q., seventeen and dizzy
Seventeen I.Q., seventeen and dizzy
It was only seventeen
Seventeen and dizzy