Went down to your momma's house for dinner
The oldest trailer park in Abilene
She says, “Pop this here grub into yer innards!”
I had to notice that the meatloaf was half-green!

I tell myself I've eaten at McDonald's
While knowing what's included with the meat--
But when I'm chowing down here at your momma's
It's a scene out of “Fear Factor”
And the challenge is to eat!

My gastric health I ponder--
I take one teensy bite--
It looks hellish, rank and putrid
And the worms are wiggly-white!
If I keep eating I'm bound to rolf all night!

And I can't bite this meatloaf anymore!
It's a steaming mess of culinary gore!
It's rotten, rancid, moldy to the core!
She's piling more and more
On my plate!

No, I can't bite this meatloaf anymore!
I'd forgotten what it's like to be piss-poor!
Excuse me while I toss it off the porch;
Bring on the second course--
Sadie, I can't bite this meatloaf anymore!

I know your momma's fond of her concoctions--
I've enjoyed her fried sardines with bacon rinds--
But it seems this meal is running out of options;
How can I phrase this politely?
Your mom's cooking is a crime!

And even as I squander
And lose my appetite,
I'll be making stupid comments
Like, “This dish is pure delight!”
The toilet and I will be face-to-bowl tonight!

But I can't bite this meatloaf anymore!
I've been dropping globs to Fido on the floor--
It's crawling like a mutant canker sore;
I'm going to the store
Forever!

No, I can't bite this meatloaf anymore!
I would rather watch reruns of Dinah Shore!
I think I'll hop right back into my Porsche
And skip your momma's borscht--
Sadie, I can't bite this meatloaf anymore!