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Song Parodies -> "Glands"

Original Song Title:

"Stand"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

R.E.M.

Parody Song Title:

"Glands"

Parody Written by:

Merry & Pippin

The Lyrics

If you do not know the OS, a low bit-rate MP3 can be found here
Glands are in place so you'll live
Hor-mones source
Think about endorphins
Pleasured smile for moment
Now glands are in place so bods work
All flaw-less
Think about the way that they give
Wonder what they're havin' in store

Adrenals in twos, great endocrines
Perfect for pumpin' some adrenalin
They boost blood sugar and feed it around
Filtrate the kidneys to keep them un-drowned, so

Glands, they have stuff that they sieve
(Some that's off)
Think about Bartholin's
(Bet you have not knowing)
Now glands in your face would be quirks
'Cept un-less
Salivary works of Pavlov's
Wonderful exper'ments of yore

Your hypothal'mus is widely renowned
Your head, it helps it know where it's bound
Your thyroid's appeased, so goitre's forestalling
Leaves me well pleas-ed
(That thing's appalling!)

Glands are in place so you'll live
Stuff spews forth
Brings about erections
'Termines why you're bearded
Now glands are in place so bods work
All fault-less
Think about the pace your growth gives:
Blunders not pituitary

'Til darkness arrives, the pineal's gelling
Starts melatoning
Diseases repelling
As needs of bo-ones are always profound
Parathyroids help calc'um abound

Go-nads (nads)
(Are down south)
Got a predilection
On my mind more often
Now glands (glands)
Pancreas
Think of all the bile where it lives
Near the duodenum

Glands are in place so you'll live
(Not be corpse)
Bringin' perspiration
Up unto the surface
Now glands are in place so bods work
All fault-less
Think about the choices they have:
Serous or sebaceous or more...

Glands are for boys and for girls (that's for sure)
Glands have a place in this world (they're the best)
No sheet, without them, you'd be underground (glands, they have got us this far)
They help your body's secretions abound, yes Glands!

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 LittleLots
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   14
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 14
 

User Comments

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alvin rhodes - November 10, 2006 - Report this comment
infotainment at its finest.....i love this
AFW - November 10, 2006 - Report this comment
As alvin says...quite educational, as well as entertaining
John Barry - November 10, 2006 - Report this comment
What Alvin and AFW said.
PMS - November 10, 2006 - Report this comment
I am in hormone-y with all the above
Yoidy - November 10, 2006 - Report this comment
I'm gonna give a hand to my glands and to this parody. Weird, impressive, and funny! 555
mandamoo - November 10, 2006 - Report this comment
"Because you've got to have glands..." What they ^ said !
Meriadoc - November 10, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks so much everyone! :-)
John H Qld - November 15, 2006 - Report this comment
Lovely to have so many personal items analysed. Keep up the internal investigations
wandlimb - February 02, 2007 - Report this comment
This parody really flows.
G-Spotter - October 23, 2012 - Report this comment
(as in "genius spotter", lol ;)

Bartholin's! My second favorite female gland, after Skene's! I was salivating at the thought of those glands in my face (as you suggested ;), or of watching the output thereof arc a foot in the air and land somewhere around her knees. (True; wish I'd taken video. ;-D) 6 + 9 = 15 already, and that's not counting the rest of the parody, which gives +++.

Way TM other GLTM, but LOL at "No sheet". Looks like between us, we've covered muscle, bone, and glands, so all that's needed is the cardiovascular system and the skin, and we have 50 Shades of "Gray's" all covered. You two take cardio; TT can do skin very well, thanks. ;)
Meriadoc - October 23, 2012 - Report this comment
Thank you Tommy - I knew you would enjoy this as a complimentary piece de bonistance. I already have an idea for a skin parody...mentioned it to Pippin last night.
Tommy Turtle - October 24, 2012 - Report this comment
Oh, great... so what am I supposed to do, "Heart And Lung" to "Heart And Soul"? .... hmm, actually "Heart Systole" is a rather cool title switch on that. ;-D As said, not in parody mode ATM and some time constraints. so you two can take that brilliant inspiration (so to speak ;) and run with it, preferably before you expire.
Julie Andrews - October 24, 2012 - Report this comment
Geez, how I ooze through sebaceous dings...

(ok, so stretch a syllable for an old Dame)

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