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Song Parodies -> "Bris"
Original Song Title:
"Kiss"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Prince
Parody Song Title:
"Bris"
Parody Written by:
Agrimorfee
The Lyrics
Oi!
You have chosen the beautiful old tradition
To raise your lovely baby in God's vision
One needs much experience to cut it off
Just leave it all up to me, this procedure can be quite tough
You don't have to be rich to pay this moile
It's great to be Jew--ish in this world
There's no other job that I'm more comfortable with
I plan to take extra care with your (snip, snip, snip snip!)
Bris!
Now, so let's talk turkey, bubeh--
How much will you pay me?
How 'bout gefilte, Mama, to add to my cut-rate fee?
Installment plans are interest free
Could I pour you some wine?
There's a money-back gurantee
My skills are divine
You don't have to be rich to pay this moile
It's great to be Jew--ish in this world
There's no other job that I'm more comfortable with
I plan to take extra care with your (snip, snip, snip snip!)
Bris!
(Think I'll dance the hora now!)
(Play that guitar, Mendy!)
Torah's good words rule my world
Ah yes, they are my world
At my age, khaver, I find it best not to work too hard
I don't have to watch too closely, some space is all I need
And I have my guide dog help me
He is the smartest breed
Wait, is there some hitch to be the moile?
You can't play me the fool!
I've been through the world
If it's the fact that I'm blind that you're uncomfortable with
Well just get some other guy for your (snip, snip, snip, snip!)
Bris!
You have chosen the beautiful old tradition
To raise your lovely baby in God's vision
One needs much experience to cut it off
Just leave it all up to me, this procedure can be quite tough
You don't have to be rich to pay this moile
It's great to be Jew--ish in this world
There's no other job that I'm more comfortable with
I plan to take extra care with your (snip, snip, snip snip!)
Bris!
Now, so let's talk turkey, bubeh--
How much will you pay me?
How 'bout gefilte, Mama, to add to my cut-rate fee?
Installment plans are interest free
Could I pour you some wine?
There's a money-back gurantee
My skills are divine
You don't have to be rich to pay this moile
It's great to be Jew--ish in this world
There's no other job that I'm more comfortable with
I plan to take extra care with your (snip, snip, snip snip!)
Bris!
(Think I'll dance the hora now!)
(Play that guitar, Mendy!)
Torah's good words rule my world
Ah yes, they are my world
At my age, khaver, I find it best not to work too hard
I don't have to watch too closely, some space is all I need
And I have my guide dog help me
He is the smartest breed
Wait, is there some hitch to be the moile?
You can't play me the fool!
I've been through the world
If it's the fact that I'm blind that you're uncomfortable with
Well just get some other guy for your (snip, snip, snip, snip!)
Bris!
Copyright 2006, Agrimorfee. I'm not Jewish, but I am verklempt. (moile=person who performs a circumcision; khaver=buddy, friend; bubeh=grandmother--only because it worked well with the song)
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Voting Breakdown
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| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
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| 5 | 9 | 9 | 9 |
User Comments
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Very good, 5s.
one of a very small number of circumsision parodies, Agri - very well written to the OS too - 555
Not circumlocuted, but circumscribed well. 5 snips.
It's "mohel," actually (or as close as Hebrew-to-English will allow), but as this parody proves, mohel's well that ends well.
Adam Sandler would be proud, as would Mel Brooks....
(ABC3-B) The idea sounds like it should've been done by Smooth-E. And it's "moyl" according to Weird Al in his "Pretty Fly (For A Rabbi)". So funny it made me plotz!
FWIW, my source for the spelling of moile/mohel/moyle was www.yiddishdictionaryonline.com . Can't see if there could be anymore of a definitive online source.
(ABC3B) The lyrics stand quite well on their own. I hope this makes my final cut. And kudos for reminding me of one of my favorite SP episodes (I guess it's titled "Ike's Bris").
I'm not usually a fan of cutting humor, but this is excellent!
(ABC3-B) see above - this one definitely benefits from being read against the OS playing - eg.the "(snip, snip, snip snip!)" bit is inspired, Agri - and the "Jew-ish" goes a treat too - this is one of my favourites of yours
(ABC) Mazel Tov! Reminds me of how Schlomo's hoary gato brissed her son Otto with some sharpened Styx.
no pain no gain,very imformative
This will certainly make the cut, it's a cut above the rest, etc...in theory I can relate, but I'm glad I don't remember!
(ABC3-B) Ouch! A blind moile could make short work of a bris! Good one, Agri. 555
Thanks Red, Rex, Stu, Johnny, tomario, Jeff & Rick!
(ABC) Yes, I remember my circumcision...we had Gatorade and waffles...aaah, memories...:-) This was fun, Agri. 555
See above. Also paid tribute to this one in your tribute parody.
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