Every death you fake
Makes a mother quake
So I lie awake, oh for pity's sake
Harold , knock it off

It's a nasty curse
Think it's getting worse
Now you drive a hearse, think you need a nurse
Harold, knock it off

A job I hate
Finding you a date
Giving me heartache
With every death you fake

Now the hangman's noose
Just another ruse
Now what's the excuse?
Oh, heck, what's the use?
Harold, knock it off

Since you left, you've been seeing that old broad
You think of her, what's-her-name, I think it's Maude
Relationships, yes I know they're often odd
I think I'll tell her that you are one big fraud
You're so trying, Harold, Harold, pleeeeeaaasse..

This might sound cold
And I hate to scold
Let me drop a clue
She's way too old for you!

Every move you make
Might cause bones to break
It's a big mistake, she may never wake
Harold knock it off

Harold, knock it off
(It's too much to take, giving me headache,)
Harold, knock it off
(For her teeth are fake, Oy, that takes the cake)
Harold, knock it off
Harold, knock it off