Well you can tell everyone I'm completely straight
Now it's only women that I wanna date
I'm not gay anymore

'Cause I have been delivered from it, praise the Lord
I threw away my secret Playgirl hoard
I'm not gay anymore
I'm not that way anymore

I don't care what you say
Gay is something you can pray away

I'm taking counseling sessions at my local church
I might still be on Grindr, but it's just for research
I'm not gay anymore

And I still study pictures of au naturel dudes
But it's just 'cause I paint, and my specialty's nudes
No, I'm not gay anymore
I'm not that way anymore

I don't care what you say
Gay is something you can pray away
I don't like men no more
I'm totally straight
No, not bi
'Cause I've totally sworn off the guys
I'm not gay anymore
I'm not gay anymore
I'm not that way anymore
I'm not that way anymore

There is one thing I've gotta say
Yeah now I keep my love of guys to myself
Umm...THAT's not what I meant to say!
'Cause I put all that on the shelf
I'm straight now

Well I think that Johnny Depp's such a handsome guy
But it's totally platonic and that's no lie
I'm not gay anymore
And I'm known to hang around certain restroom stalls
But it's only 'cause I like the shade of paint on the walls
I'm not gay anymore
D'you hear, I'm not gay no more

I don't care what you say
I never liked men much anyway
I'm not like that no more
I'm totally straight
No, not bi
'Cause I've totally sworn off the guys
I'm not gay anymore
D'you hear? I'm not gay anymore
I'm not that way anymore
You listening? I'm not that way no more
No more
No more
I'm not gay no more, no more