Randy Quaid sings:

Whatcha heard? Ha, ha, ha!!!

[Definitely mental]

I, I, I, I... [fade]... have lost my grip on reality

[But it's all real]

Crazy, but that's how she knows
Hollywood Star Whackers want us to go
Maybe that'll be our fste
But we're on the run, like in "Independence Day!"

Evi has this feeling
It's a short conversation game
I'm goin' off the rails with this crazy dame
I'm goin' off the rails but she "might" still be sane

I lost my house and furniture
My Mercedes repo'd too
They're stealing all my paychecks
We're always on the move
Our credit ruined, rumors out of control
We live in a Prius and tossed our cell phones!

Hotel bills false billing
Squatting ashamed
I'm goin' off the rails with this crazy dame
I'm goin' off the rails, but Evi has a smart brain

I know that things are going wrong for us
Move to Canada, absurd

She wanted us to drive to Siberia
Maybe that was dumb
She used to be a model
Helmet Newton fun
Crazy, fugitive chic flair
But I still need her
Got a new diet- Failure to Appear!

Moved from "Evil Mayberry"*
Starkillers to blame, yet
I'm goin' off the rails with this crazy dame
I'm goin' off the rails worse than Eddie in "Vacation" scenes!!!

Ha, ha, ha, ha!!!

I ain't never acting again!!!