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Song Parodies -> "If Jimmy Webb Wrote "Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald""

Original Song Title:

"The Highwayman"

Original Performer:

Nelson, Kristofferson, Jennings, Cash

Parody Song Title:

"If Jimmy Webb Wrote "Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald""

Parody Written by:

Patrick McWilliams

The Lyrics

I always liked this song, didn't know until yesterday that Jimmy Webb wrote it.
I was an engineer
For the White Star Line I did toil
Amidst the coal and steel and oil
Many a young maid on that maiden voyage went down
Many a gallant man gave up his place* and drowned
We struck an iceberg on that North Atlantic night

I made it out all right

I was a sailor
In a world embroiled in war
And I was signing on once more
The passengers were warned to take another ship*
For there were arms on board, someone had let that slip
A U-Boat tracked our course and closed in for the kill

But I am living still

I sailed on a freighter
Across the Great Lakes, deep and wide
Where steel mills need to be supplied
A bay called Whitefish was the safest place to go
The Fitz capsizing as the waves rushed in below
I was present when all the other crewmen drowned

Why am I still around?
I've always been around
And around, and around, and around, and around

I flew the Shuttle
On that cold January ride
The day the seven heroes died
My spirit lingered in that Y-shaped plume of smoke
Before the viewers of the TV news shows woke
The work of thousands wiped out in a single stroke
A bloody cosmic joke?

What next will I provoke, and provoke, and provoke...?
*Many men gave up seats in the lifeboats to save women and children.
*The German Embassy published warnings in the New York City newspapers warning passengers that the "Lusitania" was carrying munitions and advising them of neutral ships they should travel on instead.

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Pacing: 5.0
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Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

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User Comments

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Old Man Ribber - August 12, 2011 - Report this comment
Patrick - Oh what a tangled Webb you weave! ;D
Michael Pacholek - August 12, 2011 - Report this comment
Yours is a rising tide that sinks all boats.
Rob Arndt - August 12, 2011 - Report this comment
You're not neutral when ferrying munitions- Lusitania deserved to be sunk. Oh boo-hoo, the German Wilhelm Gustloff was ferrying civilians and wounded in the Baltic in 1945 when a Soviet sub caught it and scored with 3 torpedos, killing 6000+ people. War is hell. Anyway 555 for a good song...
Michael Pacholek - August 13, 2011 - Report this comment
A German whining about a war crime? What next, Republicans whining about Democrats out-fundraising them? Red Sox fans accusing the Yankees of steroid use? Stoke City fans singing "Same old Arsenal, always cheating"? Oh, wait, those things already happen. The truth is, America should have taught the Kaiser a lesson starting right then and there. It would have shut up the corporal with the stupid mustache as well.
Patrick - August 15, 2011 - Report this comment
The Germans issued a medal to commemorate the sinking. It featured a skeletal ticket agent selling tickets to passengers ignoring the Embassy warning. The deck of the ship was filled with cannon and airplanes. "Gesellschaft über alles" (Business before all else) was the motto. The designer of the medal put the date of the sinking at May 5, two days before the Lusitania was actually torpedoed. This was later corrected, but by then the British were already producing exact copies of the medal with leaflets explaining how the Germans had stalked the ship and planned to sink it, and even had medals made up in advance. I've seen a number of these medals over the years, including one with a Spanish language leaflet, indicating widespread distribution. The Lusitania was not carrying aircraft or cannon, of which the US Army was woefully short. It was carrying some type of artillery shells. This may have been the cause of a secondary explosion after the torpedo hit. The purpose of the German medal was to justify the sinking. "Rules of Warfare" is one of those terms that has always struck me as a grim oxymoron. But in 1915, some people still paid lip service to the idea.

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