My boy has got a birthday
Turnin' sixteen
He says "I want a party"
I say "keep it clean
No drugs and no sex
And surely no booze
But you can have rock'n'roll
Or else what's the use?"

but they were
Tokin' in the bathroom
Tokin' in the bathroom
Now I know exactly
What they've been up to
For all the roachy ends
Wouldn't flush down the loo

My boy tells me
They'll all be good
I should have known better
S**t! You know I should
A sweet little girl
I think her name was Rose
Asked me politely
"Have you seen my clothes?"

Gropin' in the bedroom
Gropin' in the bedroom
Now I know exactly
What they've been up to
For all the used condoms
Wouldn't flush down the loo

Asked some boys what they were doin'
They answered "puh-lease
We're just chillin out here
Taking our ease"
But the music was loud
Some acid house song
So I think that's what he said
But I could be wrong

Tokin' in the bathroom
Tokin' in the bathroom
Now I know exactly
What they've been up to
For all the roachy ends
Wouldn't flush down the loo

Yes I know precisely what they've been up to
For all the evidence
Didn't flush down the loo