One little thing can throw off a man
It makes him look like a sham
Flick of the fingers, twitch of the nose
And their true nature will show
When it comes to you, it's your quirk
To smile in simply the worst way, see
Got steady fingers, no moving nose
But you fall down when your joy is shown

You can't grin, it looks wrong, looks so wrong each time you grin
I can feel it fill me with a heightened sense of unease
The uncanny valley, oh, that's where your creepy-ass grin resides
You can't grin, it looks wrong, looks so wrong each time you grin
Oh, come on, don't do that, it looks like you're gonna stab
Any man who's close by and you'll still grin the whole time, it's not right

Oh, way too many teeth get shown
Like a slasher movie's going on
One where I've been spied on my own
And you really want to own my throat
It feels so wrong, you're a nice young man
You rage and cry, it all seems grand
But when you need to show mirth, you don't
Seem it have it worked out, no

You can't grin, it looks wrong, looks so wrong each time you grin
It's so wide, 'fraid I'll see, if you turn 'round, the edges meet
If you can, try for me, oh, to have the teeny-tiniest smile
You can't grin, it looks wrong, looks so wrong each time you grin
Oh, come on, please stop that, I can't stand your face, it's sad
Make it drab, would be fine, so much better than that frightful-ass sight
You can't grin, it looks wrong, looks so wrong each time you grin
Oh, come on, don't be sad, still a great friend without that
Take a glance at the sight in the mirror then you'll find that I'm right