I was chillin' at a French café
While perusin' their menu
When a fancy-dressed sommelier
Came and introduced me to

The world of wine
The awesome world of wine
Those grapes de-vined
Become the awesome world of wine

I can't tell a red from vin rosé
Or a sherry from a white
"Now admire its legs and its bouquet."
"Man, the nose, it sure has bite!"

We swirled the wine
I drunk that swirled-up wine
It tasted fine
We drunk that awesome swirled-up wine

"I can't afford, you see"
("Our best Cabernet")

A glass of that '63
("Vintage Chardonnay")

I'll stick to pears and brie
Chomp them down

'Cuz I'm
Flat broke, no savings
My fi-
Nances are waning
Credit
Cards are past draining
Is there
House red remaining, remaining?

Now don't look so sad, I've let you down
Knowing squat about your wine
Merlot-Pinot-Grigiot's all a blur
You can't blame me for not tryin'

The world of wine,
The fogged-up world of wine--
Why waste your time?
Because I'm lost in terms of wine!

Cheap wine, real fine
No, no, no, cheap wine
The world of wine, the world of wine
The world of wine, the world of wine

The world of wine, yep, cheap wine
The world of wine, yep, cheap wine

I'm way behind
And not a connoisseur of wine!
The world of wine, the world of wine

(Bob) Garson, we're not going to fight about this, okay?

(Waiter) Monsieur, I sink I tell you, les Americains are drinking ze wine, zey are not enjoying it.

(Bob) I've heard the French grow up on this stuff, it's like in their baby bottles or something.

(Waiter) Well, you are a flatulent son of a hamburger chain, you

(Bob) Thanks for the free samples, is there a bathroom here?

(Waiter) You will be paying ze check before leaving?

(Bob) Why don't you leave it?

The world of wine (wine, wine, wine)

(fade-out/Repeat)