“Want you to hit me as hard as you can”
Cause I wanna be fighting someone
I think we should start a Fight Club
Cause I wanna be fighting someone

I will clobber your shoulder (Pow! Pow!)
While we’re down in the gutter (Pow! Pow!)
Whack you with a fiddle (Pow! Twang!)
That might sting a little (Pow! Pow!)

Till you pray that it’s over (Pow! Pow!)
I will mold you like butter (Pow! Pow!)
You’re scrawny and brittle (Pow! Pow!)
These few scars make you nimble (Pow! Pow!)

Every Friday you’ll see your doctor
Cause on Thursday you will have a beat down
While we’re boxing in the streets
Just wondering what you’ll break now

Hey Kids! Do you like violence?!
Toss your games out in the rubbish
You’re forced to keep a vow of silence
If you shut your trap you’ll be fighting someone

Dude you’re going to bleed from somewhere
But don’t you try to yank on my hair!
And you’re going to be breaking some bones
Except when you’re fighting alone

Use the headlock or choker (Gag! Gag!)
Don’t you dare bring that gun here (Boom! Boom!)
Bash his skull with a cymbal (Clang! Clang!)
And he’ll be seeing triple (Ow! Ow!)

Try the tricks in this folder (Pow! Pow!)
Yes, There’s more if you wonder (Pow! Pow!)
Shove your fist in his dimples (Pow! Pow!)
Make his jaw unstable (Pow! Pow!)

You fought all the thugs from the hood
They were tough and yet you still stood
Cause without their knives and razors
They are weaklings wearing blazers

Don’t you start that crying
Cause Band-Aids we’re supplying
If you feel like you’re dying
Then you should train at fighting

You think you want to be beating someone
Stress relieved by kicking some bum
Your doctor said stop drinking all of that rum
And then stop fighting while your drunk

No hitting the belt or lower (Pow! Pow!)
Cause his voice will get higher (Eee! Hee!)
You’ve lost teeth can’t nibble (Pow! Pow!)
And your dentist trembles (Eww! Eww!)

In battle with a chauffer (Beep! Beep!)
Drives limos, He’s no boxer (Pow! Pow!)
From his nose blood might dribble (Drip! Drip!)
Can he still haul people? (Honk! Honk!)

In the hospital (In the hospital)
Need a physical (Need a physical)
You need stitches (You need stitches)
Surgeon general (Surgeon general)
Fix my arm and leg (Fix my arm and leg)
In the hospital (In the hospital)
When Advil won’t do (When Advil won’t do)
I need medical (I need medical)


Ouch!

While at work you’re always limping
With those crutches you are gimping
And your shirt has those blood splatters
A promotion doesn’t matter

In basements we’ll keep fighting
Pulled off your ear when I’m biting
Because I feel so enlightened
When I’m here beating the crap out of someone

You know I want to be kicking some ass
While we’re wrestling out in the grass
And then I might knock some teeth out
As I shove my foot deep in your mouth

Run down with a lawnmower (Chop! Chop!)
Or perhaps a steamroller (Squish! Squish!)
Burn your face on the griddle (Fry! Fry!)
And then get wet with spittle (Pa-Tooie!)

Getting bitten by Rover (Ruff! Ruff!)
Are you allergic to clover? (Achoo!)
With the stick that I whittled (Cut! Cut!)
You’re stabbed in the nostril (Stab! Stab!)

Go see Doctor Bill (Go see Doctor Bill)
At the hospital (At the hospital)
He might save you (He might save you)
If some cash you pull (If some cash you pull)
You’re so bloody (You’re so bloody)
It looks terrible (It looks terrible)
Something’s wrong with you (Something’s wrong with you)
Visit hospitals

Ouch!

Ouch!

Boo-Hoo!!! Ow!

Don’t you cry like a wussy (Pow! Pow!)
Cause we ain’t playing footsie (Pow! Pow!)
You will be called a pussy (Pow! Pow!)
If there’s pain in your tushie (Pow! Pow!)

If kicking butt is your wish
Than you just may be Irish
And although blood’s not stylish
Still kicking butt is your wish

I said you’re gonna be tasting pavement
Hope missing teeth ain’t a lament
And you feel you’re whole body’s painful
Your t-shirt is bloody stain filled

When you’re beat with a hammer (Swing! Swing!)
There is nothing more funner! (Hee-hee)
Forced to limp and stumble (Trip! Trip!)
You know you might tumble (Fall! Fall!)

You got bit by a hamster (Rat! Rat!)
Then got hit with a crowbar (Pow! Pow!)
All these drunks won’t act civil (Pow! Pow!)
Dropkicks make them giggle (Swift kick!)

If you like to fight
Then let those fists unfurl
You have no fear of blood
And don’t mind it if you hurl

Your friends can hurt you now
Because you want them to
And they’ll punch you in your face
It’s what they like to do!

Finally finished!

I’m in pain but not done till I break my jaw
---(Repeat until you’re too hurt to continue)---