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Song Parodies -> "Take-a My Pies (My Consumption Only)"
Original Song Title:
"Break My Stride"
Original Performer:
Matthew Wilder
Parody Song Title:
"Take-a My Pies (My Consumption Only)"
Parody Written by:
Heathcliff the Cat
The Lyrics
"Pastry" in "pastry thieves" is said "pastery" if reading along with the song.
Last time I bought those clotted creams
Somebody stole the packet, left me no clue to track it
As you'd imagine I was slightly peeved
This time my eye is out for pastry thieves (oh yeah)
Ain't no one gonna take-a my pies
Ain't no one gonna pinch my pastries
Oh no, for my consumption only
Ain't no one gonna pilfer my cakes
Ain't nothin' gonna slink right past me
Oh no, for my consumption only
I'll lock the rolls away from others' reach
I'll hide all my egg custards, somewhere no one could muster
Fruit buns cost me damn near 3 pounds each!
By stealing them from me, what lesson d'you teach? (true that)
Ain't no one gonna take-a my pies
Ain't no one gonna pinch my pastries
Oh no, for my consumption only
Ain't no one gonna pilfer my cakes
Ain't nothin' gonna slink right past me
Oh no, for my consumption only
Ain't no cakes for no one else to chew
Got 'em hidden!
Ain't no chance for you to nick my choux
But who'm I kiddin'?
If I'm keeping all these cakes from you
I'll be expandin'!
Gain another fifty pounds or two
What the hell! Oh!
Ain't no one gonna take-a my pies
Ain't no one gonna pinch my pastries
Oh no, for my consumption only
Ain't no one gonna pilfer my cakes
Ain't nothin' gonna slink right past me
Oh no, for my consumption only
(repeat chorus to fade)
Somebody stole the packet, left me no clue to track it
As you'd imagine I was slightly peeved
This time my eye is out for pastry thieves (oh yeah)
Ain't no one gonna take-a my pies
Ain't no one gonna pinch my pastries
Oh no, for my consumption only
Ain't no one gonna pilfer my cakes
Ain't nothin' gonna slink right past me
Oh no, for my consumption only
I'll lock the rolls away from others' reach
I'll hide all my egg custards, somewhere no one could muster
Fruit buns cost me damn near 3 pounds each!
By stealing them from me, what lesson d'you teach? (true that)
Ain't no one gonna take-a my pies
Ain't no one gonna pinch my pastries
Oh no, for my consumption only
Ain't no one gonna pilfer my cakes
Ain't nothin' gonna slink right past me
Oh no, for my consumption only
Ain't no cakes for no one else to chew
Got 'em hidden!
Ain't no chance for you to nick my choux
But who'm I kiddin'?
If I'm keeping all these cakes from you
I'll be expandin'!
Gain another fifty pounds or two
What the hell! Oh!
Ain't no one gonna take-a my pies
Ain't no one gonna pinch my pastries
Oh no, for my consumption only
Ain't no one gonna pilfer my cakes
Ain't nothin' gonna slink right past me
Oh no, for my consumption only
(repeat chorus to fade)
This delicious loganberry tart was baked by Heathcliff the Cat, 2005, at Gas Mark 6. Don't touch it yet though, it's still hot...
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545. Great sing-along, Heathcliff, and quite some lyrical creativity here.
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