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Song Parodies -> "Help, I Can't Reach"
Original Song Title:
"Papa Don't Preach"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Madonna
Parody Song Title:
"Help, I Can't Reach"
Parody Written by:
Arwen
The Lyrics
Went to the store, I had some things to get
Shampoo, some salt, ice cream with a swirl
Should go alone by now
I'm not a baby
I'm quite a girl, I'm really strong
I'll be whining now before too long
If it's above my cart
Think you know what I'm saying
It makes me want to scream and shout
To ask for help, it just makes me pout
But now I must confess
Need someone to save me
Please!
Help, I can't reach
Need tea bags to steep
Help, I can't reach
Film with Meryl Streep
The one I'm tryna find
"Din-go took my baby!"
Whoa
That dingo took her baby
Mmm...
It's not like you have to carry me
But please pull me down that new TV
Thank you, no that's all right
Won't buy at that price
Paper plates are several inches too far up
Wanted Egg Foo Young, I had to give it up
What I settled for
Was some Minute Rice
Geez!
Help, I can't reach
Need a broom to sweep
Help, I can't reach
Took a running leap
Must've just lost my mind,
Went tum-bl-in' baby,
Ooh
Through a display of gravy
Ewww...
Pardon, Laddy, don't check out; come help me
Just noticed you are six-foot-three
I'll give you five dollars right now
If you grab those gloves
Dishwashing gloves!
Oh, please!!
Help, I can't reach
I'll break down and weep
Help, I can't reach
Fresh'ner for my Jeep
If you wanna be kind
Just don't tell me maybe
No
Don't wanna hear no maybe
Mmm...
Help, I can't reach
A reward you'll reap
Help, I can't reach
My purse you can keep
Help, I can't reach
Don't be such a Creep
Help, I can't reach
You Son of a Bleep
(fade to end)
Shampoo, some salt, ice cream with a swirl
Should go alone by now
I'm not a baby
I'm quite a girl, I'm really strong
I'll be whining now before too long
If it's above my cart
Think you know what I'm saying
It makes me want to scream and shout
To ask for help, it just makes me pout
But now I must confess
Need someone to save me
Please!
Help, I can't reach
Need tea bags to steep
Help, I can't reach
Film with Meryl Streep
The one I'm tryna find
"Din-go took my baby!"
Whoa
That dingo took her baby
Mmm...
It's not like you have to carry me
But please pull me down that new TV
Thank you, no that's all right
Won't buy at that price
Paper plates are several inches too far up
Wanted Egg Foo Young, I had to give it up
What I settled for
Was some Minute Rice
Geez!
Help, I can't reach
Need a broom to sweep
Help, I can't reach
Took a running leap
Must've just lost my mind,
Went tum-bl-in' baby,
Ooh
Through a display of gravy
Ewww...
Pardon, Laddy, don't check out; come help me
Just noticed you are six-foot-three
I'll give you five dollars right now
If you grab those gloves
Dishwashing gloves!
Oh, please!!
Help, I can't reach
I'll break down and weep
Help, I can't reach
Fresh'ner for my Jeep
If you wanna be kind
Just don't tell me maybe
No
Don't wanna hear no maybe
Mmm...
Help, I can't reach
A reward you'll reap
Help, I can't reach
My purse you can keep
Help, I can't reach
Don't be such a Creep
Help, I can't reach
You Son of a Bleep
(fade to end)
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 2 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 2 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 18 | 17 | 19 |
User Comments
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Congrats on 100! Hope to join you soon. Short but sweet...and the song is good too. You might pout, but it's a great way to pick up guys. Well tall guys anyway.
Sounds like a nightmarish trip to Costco or Sam's Club!
Arwen...I absolutely love this! As a 5'5" gal, I can relate. I still remember your parody of Pink's "Don't Let Me Get Me", which was also about not being able to reach the highest shelf. Anyway, this is one of my favorite parodies of yours, and I'm gonna award it with a perfect 5-5-5! :)
P.S.: Congratulations on your one hundredth parody! :D
P.S.: Congratulations on your one hundredth parody! :D
Reach for some fives!
You got it with that song.
5' 6" here....i can relate...nice work on this one
Jeff...thanks for the congrats! And yes...I really am after the tall guys...in grocery stores and in life...so...I think I've got it pretty good...=)
Agri...thanks!
Serafina...so glad you like it! I thought about prefacing this with a "sequel" blurb...in regard to the Pink parody...but, decided against it. The sharpest minds remember anyway! =) Thanks for the congrats, too!
John...stop teasing me! I'm on my tippy toes now! =) Thanks!
2Eagle...thank you!!
Alvin...glad to hear that I'm not alone...=) Thanks!
Agri...thanks!
Serafina...so glad you like it! I thought about prefacing this with a "sequel" blurb...in regard to the Pink parody...but, decided against it. The sharpest minds remember anyway! =) Thanks for the congrats, too!
John...stop teasing me! I'm on my tippy toes now! =) Thanks!
2Eagle...thank you!!
Alvin...glad to hear that I'm not alone...=) Thanks!
I'm 6'1" so I won't pretend to know how you feel. Awesome parody though.
A worthy sequel to "Short People".
Thanks, Scathe and Rex!
Nothing makes me laugh harder than a running leap, but there were several lines in this that came close. Also, congrats on 100! Damn! I'd tell you to reach for the stars, but that would just be silly...
Ash...hehehe...thanks a lot!
Awright, Arwen hit 100! I knew she'd reach it! Or so to speak! Congratulations, Little Miss Elfin Magic! Serafina: Isn't Pink like five-foot-three? Which still made her the second-tallest performer in the "Lady Marmalade" cover. (Christina Aguilera is five-one, and they don't call Kim "Li'l" 'cause she's over five feet, 'cause she ain't. Mya towers over all of them at five-seven.)
A million thanks to Michael...who really does know more than anyone in the world...sheesh. And I thought I was smart...=) Thanks, Mister Pacholek! Back in the day when I only had a couple parodies on the site, one of my goals was to finally win you over...=) I freaking RULE, don't I? ; )
"To ask for help, it just makes me pout" ... Ask for help, Arwen ... ask for help ... good ... oh that's good, that's good ... okay, okay, here are your 5's!
Hey I liked it! Good job on the parody, and congratz on reaching a hundred.
Johnny...hee! Thanks, you naughty boy!
Ellipsis...thanks very much!
Ellipsis...thanks very much!
Arwen...I looked at this one a month ago but didn't comment on it. I love it! Often times I've helped my 5' 1" mom when she hasn't been able to reach something, whether it be at the grocery store or at home (or anywhere). She's lucky to have a tall son like me (I'm 5' 10", by the way).
nally...she's lucky to have a son who'll help her out, too! Thanks!
555 Arwen. I stand corrected that DAK's parody is better. This is better paced but both are funny.
I like this one just as much as DAK's.
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