[Rebekah Dub]
Omigod, my hair’s messed up!

[Disgruntled Date]
Last night we went to the movies
And ate at a popular sushi bar
But in an effort to look “groovy”
She played with her hair and makeup in my car

[Rebekah Dub]
I had to look beautiful
Since I was wearing lambs-wool
And it was my first date since
God knows how long it’s been
Could not let myself go
It was so long ago
That I had been on a good date
Or any date at all

[Disgruntled Date]
I contemplated calling her
I was bored and I had a whole day to spare
She debuted faux fur
She took so long I assumed she killed a bear

[Rebekah Dub]
I was putting on lip-gloss
That was bleeding ‘round my mouth
Lip-liner did not do smack
Though it matched the lip-gloss
And my mascara ran
All the way to Bhutan
I re-applied and covered it
Up with my concealer

I really wish my date would stop bitching
It’s not my fault that I always have to look perfect
Though it’s more likely that I’m just a fling
Because we hardly talked; all we did… did was neck

[Disgruntled Date]
I think I ruined her lip-gloss
Either that or on her dress I spilled hot sauce

[Rebekah Dub]
That was an expensive dress
So I am in great distress
I’m stuck with a lifelong stain
Because it won’t come out
I got it at full-price
‘Twas worth the sacrifice
Because I wore that dress a lot
Anytime that I could

[Disgruntled Date]
She could wear a cardigan
It is cold in Arlington
And cardigans are the thing
In small-town Ohio
So she won’t look like crap
I hope she doesn’t yap
I’ll suggest this idea to her
And see how she responds

[Rebekah Dub]
I’ll need a long cardigan
But I lack a battle plan
And the time to go shopping
For a long cardigan
So I’ll find something else
That’ll go just as well
I must look like a million bucks
And I’m having no luck