Flippin through the channels
on T.V. at night,
Saw those lacy curtains
They were clean and bright,
Years of dirt were gone
Oxy Clean is such a dream.

Bought myself a Flowbee
I just can't explain,
Hair cut with a vacuum and there is no pain
My heart skips a beat,
When I turn the T.V. on.
Everything I need,
Spray on hair to medication,
Juice man Junior
Needs no explanation
We can use it together aha,
Miracle thaw will last forever aha,

(chorus)

Infomercial star,
That is what you are,
Flash your pearly whites,
On T. V. at night,
Tout hair club for men,
and your "psychic friends",
And we can buy from each other aha,
Hear you droning on forever aha.

Got so many products
I don't know what's next,
Can't tell the difference between solo & bow flex
Maybe I'll just give in,
Twenty easy payments make my heart sing,
Nineteen ninety nine
Is all I have to pay,
Eighty bucks for shipping and it's there next day
Don't think I can wait
Till I get my hands on my new things.
I will buy and buy,
Think I'll stop, no sir not ever,
QVC rocks and it will live forever
We can try it together aha,
In any kind of weather aha

(chorus)

Infomercial star,
That is what you are,
Flash your pearly whites,
On T. V. at night,
Did "Miss Cleo" know,
That to jail she'd go?,
And we can buy from each other aha,
Hear you droning on forever aha.

Sale away
Oh come sale away with me

(chorus) ad nauseum

Infomercial star,
That is what you are,
Flash your pearly whites,
On T. V. at night,
I've got "buns of steel",
and a "deal-a-meal",
And we can buy from each other aha,
Hear you droning on forever aha.