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Song Parodies -> "Fruitcakes on the Campus"
Original Song Title:
"Fruitcakes"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Jimmy Buffett
Parody Song Title:
"Fruitcakes on the Campus"
Parody Written by:
Michael T. Mondak
The Lyrics
You know, I was talking to my friend Dr. Melissa Eaton when she came to my home on my birthday. She is an assistant professor of psychology at Penn State Shenango. She told me that we're umbillically connected to Penn State, and the cosmic bakers took us out of the oven a little too early, and that's the way we've been made, and I believe it. Take for example when you go to Beaver Stadium these days. You know, they try to sell you this jumbo drink 8 extra ounces of watered-down Wild Cherry Pepsi for an extra 25 cents. I don't want it. I don't want other people to make decisions for me. I want my grilled stickies! Where did grilled stickies get into Beaver Stadium? I don't want a 12 pound Nestle's Crunch for 25 dollars! I want grilled stickies! We need more fruitcakes on the campus! Less bakers! We need people that care! I'm mad as hell and I don't want to take it anymore!
Fruitcakes on the campus
Fruitcakes in downtown
Struttin' naked through the crosswalk
In the middle of the week
Half baked cookies in the oven
Half baked people on the bus
There's a little bit of fruitcake left in every Penn Stater
Paradise - lost and found
Paradise - take a look around
I was out in Happy Valley
Where I hear they have it all
They got ice cream and stickies
They got sushi in the mall
Penn State stores and balloon stores
Lots of foreigners
They all live the easy life
The secret's on campus
Fruitcakes on the campus
Fruitcakes in downtown
Struttin' naked through the crosswalk
In the middle of the week
Half baked cookies in the oven
Half baked people on the bus
There's a little bit of fruitcake left in every Penn Stater
Speaking of fruitcakes, how about the government?
Your tax dollars at work
We lost our own deckchair friend
The quagmires all said
Seems our very own deckchair friend
Has lost his cone-shaped head
We spent ninety jillion dollars
Tryin' to get a look at clouds
I hear universal laughter
Raging out among the rain
Fruitcakes in the galaxy
Fruitcakes on the earth
Struttin' naked towards eternity
We've been that way since birth
Half baked cookies in the oven
Half baked people on the bus
There's a little bit of fruitcake left in every Penn Stater
Religion. Religion. Oh, there's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning. Here we go now. All right, altar servers.
Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa
Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa
Where's the church, who took the steeple
Religion's in the hands of some crazy ass people
Televangelists involved in all these scandals
It makes me want to vomit a lot
It's the Buddhist in you, it's the Catholic in me
It's the Muslim in him, she's Baptist, ain't she?
Television journalists, it's the wasp and the Jew,
Tell me what's going on, I AIN'T GOT A CLUE!
All right, here come the big ones. Relationships.
We all got them. We all want them. What do we do with them?
Here we go, I'll tell you.
She said you have to do your fair share
Now cough up half the rent
Seems that all my money
Has always been well spent
But the way I do my business
May get me a little hug
That's the difference between lighting
And a harmless lightning bug
HEY!
Fruitcakes on the campus
Fruitcakes in downtown
Struttin' naked through the crosswalk
In the middle of the week
Half baked cookies in the oven
Half baked people on the bus
There's a little bit of fruitcake left in every Penn Stater
The future - captain's log - star date 2010 and something
We're just three years from the new census
That's a science fiction fact
Stanley Kubrick and his buddy Hal
Now don't look that abstract
So I'll put on my Bob Marley tape
And practice what I preach
Get ja lost in the reggae mon
As I stroll along the beach
Stay in touch with my insanity
It may be the only way
It's a jungle out there, Missa
Have a very fruitful day
HEY!
Fruitcakes on the campus
Fruitcakes in downtown
Struttin' naked through the crosswalk
In the middle of the week
Half baked cookies in the oven
Half baked people on the bus
There's a little bit of fruitcake left in every Penn Stater
Fruitcakes in downtown
Struttin' naked through the crosswalk
In the middle of the week
Half baked cookies in the oven
Half baked people on the bus
There's a little bit of fruitcake left in every Penn Stater
Paradise - lost and found
Paradise - take a look around
I was out in Happy Valley
Where I hear they have it all
They got ice cream and stickies
They got sushi in the mall
Penn State stores and balloon stores
Lots of foreigners
They all live the easy life
The secret's on campus
Fruitcakes on the campus
Fruitcakes in downtown
Struttin' naked through the crosswalk
In the middle of the week
Half baked cookies in the oven
Half baked people on the bus
There's a little bit of fruitcake left in every Penn Stater
Speaking of fruitcakes, how about the government?
Your tax dollars at work
We lost our own deckchair friend
The quagmires all said
Seems our very own deckchair friend
Has lost his cone-shaped head
We spent ninety jillion dollars
Tryin' to get a look at clouds
I hear universal laughter
Raging out among the rain
Fruitcakes in the galaxy
Fruitcakes on the earth
Struttin' naked towards eternity
We've been that way since birth
Half baked cookies in the oven
Half baked people on the bus
There's a little bit of fruitcake left in every Penn Stater
Religion. Religion. Oh, there's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning. Here we go now. All right, altar servers.
Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa
Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa
Where's the church, who took the steeple
Religion's in the hands of some crazy ass people
Televangelists involved in all these scandals
It makes me want to vomit a lot
It's the Buddhist in you, it's the Catholic in me
It's the Muslim in him, she's Baptist, ain't she?
Television journalists, it's the wasp and the Jew,
Tell me what's going on, I AIN'T GOT A CLUE!
All right, here come the big ones. Relationships.
We all got them. We all want them. What do we do with them?
Here we go, I'll tell you.
She said you have to do your fair share
Now cough up half the rent
Seems that all my money
Has always been well spent
But the way I do my business
May get me a little hug
That's the difference between lighting
And a harmless lightning bug
HEY!
Fruitcakes on the campus
Fruitcakes in downtown
Struttin' naked through the crosswalk
In the middle of the week
Half baked cookies in the oven
Half baked people on the bus
There's a little bit of fruitcake left in every Penn Stater
The future - captain's log - star date 2010 and something
We're just three years from the new census
That's a science fiction fact
Stanley Kubrick and his buddy Hal
Now don't look that abstract
So I'll put on my Bob Marley tape
And practice what I preach
Get ja lost in the reggae mon
As I stroll along the beach
Stay in touch with my insanity
It may be the only way
It's a jungle out there, Missa
Have a very fruitful day
HEY!
Fruitcakes on the campus
Fruitcakes in downtown
Struttin' naked through the crosswalk
In the middle of the week
Half baked cookies in the oven
Half baked people on the bus
There's a little bit of fruitcake left in every Penn Stater
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