Song Parodies -> "Tampon In The Toilet Bowl"

Original Song Title:

"Centerfold"

Original Performer:

"Tampon In The Toilet Bowl"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

She’s got hips, she’s got lips
She’s got it alright!
My honey bunny baby
Always keeps me warm at night

She’s as sweet as peaches
Her lips are sugarcane
The loving of my lady
Is better than champagne

Once one time, while looking for the nearest place to pee
I caught a bathroom close up of her femininity

(Chorus)
The blood streaked bold, the imagery had taken hold
A tampon in the toilet bowl
My heart stopped cold, my appetite was put on hold
Tampon in the toilet bowl

Saying ‘gross’ under my breath
While she was watching Lady Macbeth
I was tired, I hit the hay
Turning out all the lights

I was dreaming in my bed
When all-a-sudden all turned to red
Shakespeare worked his sorcery
My lady sensed my fright

Her hand held reassurance
She gently stroked and brushed
I wouldn’t have freaked out this way
If her hands would’ve flushed

(Alt. Chorus)
Her hands consoled, but irony would still cajole
The tampon in the toilet bowl
Tampon in the toilet bowl
My eyeballs rolled, my retinas still burned like coals
Tampon in the toilet bowl
Nag nag nag nag nag nag
Nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag (x3)

Now listen:
I survived that red wing night
Glad it wasn’t our wedding night
I hope that there is no repeat
I cringe each time I lift the seat

On the rag, brides to be?
I hate to raise the subject
But when it comes to honeymoons
I must inform the public

My love for her can take the worst
Even if it maybe ‘the curse’
I know, I will recover
You see, I can’t help but to love ‘er

Our love’s untold, the shock of it has gotten old
The tampon in the toilet bowl
Tampon in the toilet bowl
Her heart is gold, The imagery has lost its hold
The tampon in the toilet bowl
Tampon in the toilet bowl

Nag nag nag nag nag nag
Nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag
Alright!
Alright!
1, 2, 3, 4…
Nag nag nag nag nag nag
Nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag (x4)

The blood streaked bold, the imagery had taken hold
The tampon in the toilet bowl, tampon in the toilet bowl
Her heart is gold, my recollection’s gotten old
The tampon in the toilet bow, tampon in the toilet bowl
Nag nag nag nag nag nag
Nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag
(repeat to fade…)

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Doppelbock - October 17, 2008 - Report this comment

Loved it.

Stooge - October 17, 2008 - Report this comment

Very funny

alvin - October 17, 2008 - Report this comment

disgustingly funny

McKludge - October 17, 2008 - Report this comment

Dear Ladies: We promise to always put the seat back down if you promise never to leave ... ahem ... remnants behind.

John Barry - October 17, 2008 - Report this comment

Angel's got the menses flow. Loved the way you worked in Lady Macbeth.

< ! ! ! > - October 17, 2008 - Report this comment

! ! ! . . . . PS: for Mr McLewd , the Marquis of Cluelessness: your comMen-tary is disgusting !

Christie Marie M - October 17, 2008 - Report this comment

Wow, this whole tampon situation is grotesque to men and embarrassing for women to go through. I also agree with McKludge there. I nearly split my sides with your parody, though! Those lyrics had a great flow!

Glen S - October 18, 2008 - Report this comment

I will refrain from using the phrase 'great flow', but there it is.

PMS - October 18, 2008 - Report this comment

Bloody funny. Period.

Al Smiley - October 18, 2008 - Report this comment

I loved this song. It's very squicky and funny at the same time. The word"Squick" means gruesome but funny. So it's kind of like a David Cronenburg movie.

Meriadoc - October 21, 2008 - Report this comment

"George with the Red Hair" who visits monthly would love this one.

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