I thought I'd try out Dial-A-Date
I wrote their number down
Well I didn't trust the management
Just liked the way it sounds
Said I had the King of Hearts
She said she had a pair
Told her where I'd meet her
She told me what she'd wear
But just as I was walking up
I tripped on her hair
I tripped on her hair

I've had my share of bad lawsuits
Those lawyers are greedy
I'm paying out most everyday
And shrinking from the heat
They tell me that they've picked for me
A jury of my peers
I think that they're crazy
They're proving it right here
They think I'll be paying cause
I tripped on her hair
I tripped on her hair
I tripped on her hair
I tripped on her hair

(Haircutting-clipper-buzz-break)

They tell me that the jury's out
Don't matter anyway
Even if they convict me
There's just no way I'll pay
I think they need to pass laws
Just how long you can wear your hair
Surely the floor's the limit
When you're sitting on a chair
'Bout time she got a haircut
Make her sit in a chair
Cut it all off
I tripped on her hair
I tripped on her hair
I tripped on her hair
I tripped on her hair

Jury finds:

We think it's only fair
People, they trip on her hair
Tied down, a barber's chair
Clip, clip
We think it's only fair
People, they trip on her hair
Tied down, a barber's chair
Clip, clip
We think it's only fair
People, they trip on her hair
Tied down, a barber's chair
Clip, clip
We think it's only fair
People, they trip on her hair
Tied down, a barber's chair
Clip, clip