I had a little trouble with my favorite jeans,
My figure's not the same as when I was a teen,
If I lay down, suck in my stomach,
I might get them to zip,
But my gut will just hang over,
These jeans no longer fit.

All those cakes and brownies you put onto my plate,
Sometimes I can't believe just how much I ate.
And now I'm paying dearly,
For eating all this sh**,
'Cause come Monday morning,
These jeans no longer fit.

These jeans won't go on over my thighs,
Just over the holiday, I gained a little weight.
These jeans won't go on my big behind,
Try to pull with all my might,
But I think they're way too tight.

Too many Krispy Kremes,
Look like I'm 'bout to give birth.
I'm busting through the seams,
From my inflated girth.
Tried the Atkin's diet,
To whittle down my hips,
But I could not keep those carbs,
From passing through my lips.


These jeans won't go on over my thighs,
Just over the holiday, I gained a little weight.
These jeans won't go on my big behind,
Try to pull with all my might,
But I think they're way too tight.

There's junk food out there,
I can't resist.
I need to diet away,
The pounds I've gained,
There's junk food out there,
I can't resist.

So now I shop Lane Bryant,
And eating like a bird,
And now my brand new jeans
Look so big it is absurd,
Last night I saw an old friend,
She asked me when I'm due,
So I just smiled and said,
"These jeans just might fit you."

These jeans won't go on over my thighs,
Just over the holiday, I gained a little weight.
These jeans won't go on my big behind,
Try to pull with all my might,
But I think they're way too tight.

(repeat to fade)