i just got a letter and found out that this june
the family's getting together again this year too
wonder what kind of reason i should give this time
i have to work, i'm sick or i got hives
can't go to the family reunion

don't ask me
why don't you go?
and why do you lie?
what's so bad about your family?
you have to make up reasons why?
you won't be going, you say they use too much cumin
they don't handle food right
you might die
at your family reunion

when i was a youngun, my mom would make me go
but now i'm grown up, don't have to do as I'm told
2 cousins tried to ask me out there 5 or 6 years ago
I said beat buttholes
just one reason I won't go
to the family reunion

chorus
wish they'd me alone
i need a clone
to take my place at the family reunion