(Part 1, initially slow)
When you're an undergrad,
You're under a curse.
Your grades are bad,
Job prospects are worse.
You're always striving, conniving,
Still, your GPA is diving.
Finals are coming,
The workload is numbing,
Your roommates are thumbing a hearse!
Your face and checkbook
Are both a deep red.
You wish you'd been
A plumber instead.
Don't forget that when you get to grad school you'll be glad.
Too bad, it's all for the grad!

(Part 2, faster)
Some men are staying up all night,
'Til the break of light,
And they're getting frightfully wealthy,
Coding all the time,
IBM or Prime [computer]
Drawing vector lines on the screen, or
Teaching to a class,
Physics labs or math
Even though they know it's not healthy,
The money they're given is simply obscene!
They never study much at all,
Have themselves a ball,
Thinking that the college is easy,
Playing all the time,
Never pay a dime,
And if you think that isn't sad, well,
Who is the chance for?
The jobs and the grants for?
Too bad, it's all for the--
(If you quit now, you'll be a cad)
It's sad, it's all for the--
(Don't quit now, it's not so bad)
Too bad, it's all for the--
(You'll really disappoint your dad!)
Too bad, it's all for the grad!